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Originally Posted by Andy Catsimanes Isn't that what the video's all about, understanding the truth of the other? |
Absolutely. Maybe I didn't word it correctly. What I meant is that if someone feels judged, others may not know the true impact unless they have had similar experiences. We can only know what's true for us, but we can build a bridge of understanding by listening to others. When someone feels hurt by someone else's actions, it's even more hurtful when others' diminish that person's feeling.
In a recent thread I started, I tried to explain this very issue in relation to gender and age. This is a very real issue to me, but some couldn't understand the relevance no matter how much I tried to explain it. That's why I said that it was difficult to relate to what I was saying unless you were in my situation. I wasn't angry at their reactions. Because of my background in this type of training, I understood that they could not understand the reality of what was true for me because they have not experienced it themselves.
When I've taught workshops, others have been surprised by the "seemingly" little things we say that have a huge, negative impact on others. This type of exercise helps others to understand. You can talk until you're blue in the face and tell people to "be nice," but when they have this type of experience, they see the true impact of their hurtful words and actions. I've been changed by participating in these workshops. I've learned and grown from it. I've seen others learn and grow from it too.