@southcaligirl:

Dunno. Gotta check that out. I suppose it's because PayPal offers limited "buyer protection" on digital products to stop fraudsters who steal digital goods by buying them and then initiating chargebacks. Anyhow, I'll look into it for sure.

As for the typo, I'll fix that. It's not my copy -- it's Paul's But I did fix quite a few typos before I uploaded it, so I guess I missed that one. Thanks!

I think the copy does not need to be nearly as long as it is (over 4000 words). I'd cut it in half by trimming the conversational aspects. I don't think the Warning section is necessary. Maybe present only the most compelling paragraphs in the testimonials. Most of us are willing to believe that we can get better conversion by altering our copy or structure and learning some new techniques. We simply want to have an idea what those techniques involve.

I have a heavy academic background and I like to see proof of claims. You could increase credibility if you cite specific examples of vendors who have increased sales by X% with Technique Y. Can you produce any actual sales figures? They don't have to be companies we've all heard of. A couple success-story examples of small operations would suffice.

Amazon doesn't seem like a good example because they sell an immense amount of material, but they don't write most of the copy. They post what's sent in (I sell a book on Amazon myself and I frequent small-publisher forums). Their conversion rates will range from fairly good to 0%, depending on the product and its presentation. Reader comments (=testimonials) on Amazon are impossible to control. Amazon's whole M.O. is to sell books to people who have already made up their minds to buy the book and want to get a discount, rather than paying list price at a bookstore, so I don't think their conversion is tied to copywriting skills.

It's hard to find the price of this offer. You mention $197, but apparently that is not the price, rather $50 is. I had to go to the order page to find this. $50 is not expensive for what's offered. I'd play that up. If I have a $50 product, my first extra sale pays for your book. $197 is more of a price-barrier deterrent, and it confuses me.

Good luck with this,
Doug Smith

Doug, I find this funny.

Everything you mentioned is EXACTLY what Paul discusses in the report -- i.e., the sales process (not just the copy), the tools, "step-selling," pre-selling, applying Amazon's model to your funnel, price justification, price conditioning, flow testing, and much, much more.

Now, to respond to your concerns about the letter itself, and while your concerns are valid and I appreciate the feedback, it's not my product. It's Paul Hancox'. And I know that Paul is a fanatical tester. This letter was proven to be the winner, which is why Paul bundled it with the resale rights package I purchased. And I wanted to test the letter -- the control -- as is, without touching it. For now, at least, to get some good baseline measurements.

But you gave me some fodder, and I appreciate that.

By the way, Paul does mention in his letter that there are no guarantees that you will precisely achieve 10% conversion. And he also mentions that most of his tips have nothing to do with copywriting. They have to do with the sales process.

In fact, not mentioning the price until the end is actually part of what Paul teaches. (But I did say in my post at the top of this thread that I'm selling it at a fraction of the suggested price tag. I guess you didn't read it.)

By the way, the report does go into detail about the sales process at Amazon. Paul talks about certain things Amazon does that are not copy-related, which you can apply to your own sales funnel. From word of mouth, to using blogs (for customer feedback), to "pre-selling," and more.

I appreciate the feedback, nevertheless.

The information on "flow testing" is what hooked my interest.
It answered the original objection I had that caused me to
skip from the description of how good the e-book was to the comments.

But I only saw the "flow testing" information and how it
might relate to my sites (which do not generate enough
traffic to do split test analysis) on my return to the sales
letter the second time...and only then cause I was doing
you a favor my reading it.

If you are targeting sceptical marketers with small lists
I would play up that this message applies to them sooner.

This letter did not convert me but since you sent it to
me and you have huge capital in my "attention economy"
I am going to keep my eyes and ears open for more of
these strategies.

I can't afford to buy anymore information...
but you have made me thirsty for it.

Thanks,

Chris Titan