Quote:
Originally Posted by Michel Fortin
All I can think of right now are his "Seven Dirty Words." LOL! |
George Carlin got me evicted from a funeral. When I was 16, my dad's business partner Fred died, and I attended the funeral with my friend Garrett. I swear, I had never laughed so hard as at that funeral; Garrett & I were huge Carlin fans, and began to recite old Carlin jokes. We laughed till we cried, and caused quite a stir. George would have been proud. Nothing like forbidden laughter. Especially at a funeral.
I saw George perform a couple times growing up. I remember going down to the record store to buy LP's... Let's see, gimme "Fly By Night" by Rush, and "Class Clown" by George.
Yes, it started with Seven bad words. By the time I saw him live, it had evolved into the "incomplete list of impolite words & phrases"
He did his seven words bit, then explained how much more creative cussing has gotten... and he unrolled a list about 30 feet long and went through it rapid fire.
Here are a few short takes from Napalm & Silly Putty. You know what we need? Black Jell-o
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite?
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
Even though some men are complete @$$holes, you know what makes me say about feminism? Somewhere along the way we lost "Hey, toots!"
Sony would be real smart to come up with combination CD player and colonostomy bag called the $h1tman.
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
It's a perverse fact that in death you grow more popular. As soon as you're out of everyone's way, your approval curve moves sharply upward. You get more flowers when you die than you got your whole life. All your flowers arrive at once. Too late.
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
If I had my choice on how to die I would like to be sitting on the cross town bus and suddenly burst into flames.
Here's how you get rid of counterfeit money: Put it on the collection plate at church.
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I''m listening to it.
In the United States, anybody can be president. That's the problem.
George, you will be missed. 