As some of you might know, I've been resting my back after a minor fall. I took took two weeks' vacation to rest it up except for Tuesday when I went to work because it was a sale day.

Well Tuesday was a poopie day!

I would have written earlier about it, but it's taken that long to stop laughing. Shortly after opening the store there was a little paperwork for me to complete, so I asked Dean to watch for customers while I went to the bathroom before starting with the daily paperwork.

Well, the toilet wouldn't flush. Since all I did was pee, I was at first suspicious that someone had left this chore of plunging to me. After about five minutes and feeling my already tricky back not liking it, I asked Dean to try it.

Well, Dean is in there for about one minute and comes back out to tell me, "It's backing up." That's all he said. "It's backing up." Then he went on to talk to a customer like nothing had happened.

After a minute or two, my nose starts to wrinkle up. I didn't know it at the time but my nose was apparently trying to escape. So I decided to get a little room freshener to spray in the bathroom.

Well, the spray was not quite up to the task of overcoming an inch of poopie water over half the bathroom floor. Dean had been nice enough to pull the throw rugs back away from the befouled water. I'll have to write a letter of commendation to the home office for his quick thinking.

The smell was so bad, I couldn't decide whether to close the door while I cleaned and perhaps pass out, or leave it open so that the entire store smelled like....

After I finally got the mess cleaned up, Derwin from the next door asked if he could borrow our plunger. So he goes over to his place and unscrews the drainage lid and plunges away.

Yes, it did. How did you know? It came back up through our store's bathroom drain again. The floor was once again like I'd never mopped it.

A little while later, the plumber showed up. He must have actually been an electrician because he told me they don't work in an area when it's wet.

Actually I was feeling pretty good when he showed up because the thought occurred to me that I don't have to deal with this sort of 'stuff' but once in...well this is the first time in 56 years that there's been stuff of anywhere near this magnitude. Well the Roto Rooter guy...this is what he does for a living. Every workday morning he gets out of bed knowing he's going to have a bad hair day.

Well, to accomodate him, since I was now in such good spirits, I cleaned a little more on one side so he could get to the toilet. At this point the big yellow industrial sized mop bucket was about half full.

By now I should not have to explain to most of you that I'm an idiot, because you all know me already. But anyway in my kindhearted effort to get the smelly bucket out of his way, I took it out of the room.

Of course then, there I was, even though I was in the back room I was still exposing the store to the 'aroma.' So I had to get rid of the water immediately. Now remember I've got a touchy back. But there was no choice. We've got no back door to the store. We'd gotten a shipment the night before, so the aisle to the utility sink was less than a foot wide, too narrow to roll the bucket on the floor.

I proceeded to carry it with one hand. Slowly. Fortunately I didn't fall. Or spill.
And I successfully poured the mess down the ulilty sink. I was quite proud of my idiot self for my "take charge" attitude for at least a few minutes.

That's when I found out that the stuff I'd spent a half-hour mopping, (you can't mop this stuff fast unless you want waves of it coming at you.) had just come back up through the bathroom drain again.

A little later the contractor who hires our plumbers for us, called our guy off the job because she said he was price gouging. (Meanwhile, he was having a little fun day of his own because the snake he was operating took a u-turn and broke the toilet in the bathroom in the next store!)

This meant we were going to have to wait for another plumber. At this point my eyes are turning yellow, if you know what I mean. Plus, I'd spent more than an hour in that little bathroom as part of a laundry and hair experiment...trying to see how close I could get to people afterwards without them going cross-eyed.

We wait and wait. When we call to find out where our plumber is going to arrive, we find out that the plumber had "been there" and fixed our toilet handle. This was news to us. Especially since our toilet handle wasn't broken.

I should tell you that in the corner of the parking lot there is a store called the "Vitamin Shoppe." I work at "Vitamin World" and we're inside the mall. The "Shoppe" been stealing our customers for two years. In their defense, this was the first time they had stolen our plumber. I found this out later that day. They told Linda that the new plumber couldn't come back until Wednesday a.m....the next day!

Previously, around 4pm my back had started to go out from carrying the pail of poo-pee to the utility sink. So I went home, whereupon I resumed my vacation. So, ya see...there is a happy ending.

The moral of the story?
If you're gonna laugh about it later, ya might as well laugh about it now.

Kelley

You need more green highlighting on your sales letter. Really let yourself go next time

LOL!

Thanks for your input.

Kelley