Occasionally I receive emails from my newsletter subscribers (who tend to be concerned with good English more than the average person) "correcting" a "mistake" in my writing where I did, in fact, use correct spelling or grammar. Can someone suggest a way to provide the correct information in response that will not come across as a put-down?

On the one hand, I don't want them to go on believing that I've been careless when I have not been, but when I explain that what I wrote was correct - and sometimes provide an authoritative reference to back it up - then I get accused of being a "bitch." (That's a direct quote.) I understand that that partly comes from embarrassment at having put themselves on the line, wrongly, but still, in my message I did say, "Thank you for your concern."

When I am wrong, I do graciously admit it and thank the corrector, as happened a few years ago when I used "inertia" when I should have written "entropy." I received six or seven emails about that blunder.

Any suggestions about how to be polite in responding to the mistaken corrections?

How would you reply?

Thanks,
Marcia Yudkin

Dear reader,

Thankyou for your time.

Regards,
Erice

Marcia, that's a tough one.

It's seemingly trivial, but when you make your living with words, it's natural that you wouldn't want someone to perceive you as careless.

We've all been on both sides of that dynamic. I know I've called people out on grammar, and had them either get super-defensive to the point of hostility; or, even worse, point out to me that I was the one who didn't understand the proper usage.

The only thing I know to do if you really care about the kibitzer's feelings is to say something along the lines of "You know, I've had difficulty with similar usage questions before, to the point that I spent some time doing a little research on it, and I was surprised to find that the references I checked actually weigh in on the side of (example). I know it seems peculiar, but that's what I found."

My bet is, even when you do that you'll still get called names. There are certain people who will not accede to anything and whose only purpose is to be seen as superior. It's deciding with whom you'd like to expend that kind of energy that's the salient point, IMHO.

Isn't it funny that you remember the time when you were indeed wrong, even years later?

Afew year's ago I went to a Jeopardy tryout. I did well, but couldn't remember that the Times-Picayune was published in New Orleans. Another time I was taking an SAT test and didn't know that "legerdemain" was the term for a magician's sleight of hand.

I'll never forget either of those. Nor where, or how, I learned them.

A.

There is only one way to deal with subscribers who call you a bitch and that is

'DELETE'

meanwhile, you do as I did yesterday when a good pal of mine corrected something incorrectly.

I said, 'thank you, I will look into it'.

Then left it as it was.

If the person mails you again as there was no change, be flattered they read your copy soooooooooo often and then tell them

'I looked into it and decided to leave it as it is. Thank you though again for you comments.'

This way you are NOT telling them they are wrong.

This is how we women carefully deal with guys! Treat your subscribers the same way. With TACT and DIPLOMACY!

Brilliant!

The one thing that is always comforting for me when a grammar cop pulls me over is...

I have nothing to worry about, because she is probably right!

It's nice not needing to be right when nothing of importance is on the line... it's freeing really.

Because, the noted grammar problem is PROBABLY not hurting my results.

Unless the grammar is so atrocious that the message becomes garbled and unclear (which would be bad copy to begin with), there is actually more of a chance that fussy grammar will harm conversational writing, cramp the flow, and even HURT results in many cases.

So, if you think about it, the problem only exists to the degree that you are emotionally committed to being right.

Unless you are interested in becoming an English teacher or scholar, such grammar duels have little to no value for a copywriter.

So I let the others be the grammar teachers or scholars, and I thank them for pointing out their special intellectual skills, but I point out to them that my specialty is to touch hearts and minds, and to then move them to action.

So I ask for them to understand if I decide against making their suggested grammar changes. I tell them it's not a challenge to their abilty and skill, it's simply a recognition of my own talent and duty as a copywriter.

Marcia, don't get me wrong, but maybe they feel a need to say something because you are so "correct" with your grammar all of the time?

Maybe they are trying to be helpful and think are doing you a favor? I dunno.

Next time someone emails you back and tries to correct you, try this...

DON'T ANSWER THEM!

Or if you feel a need, email them back and say "thanks". Nothing else, just "thanks".

Just let them believe they're correct and move on. Who cares if a few don't think you can spell or use proper grammar? As long as you know, that's all that matters, right?

It's not like they're going to spread rumors around the Internet that Marcia Yudkin can't use proper grammar or spell simple words.

Let me tell you a quick story.

A couple of months ago I sent out an email to my list with a spelling error. I didn't notice until is went out to my entire list.

I was so concerned about it that I sent out another to my list appologizing for my mistake.

Funny thing is, the second email I sent out now had two spelling errors (I sometimes get into a big rush).

But you know what...

I don't really worry about it anymore.

I've gotten over the fact that I'm not perfect. Sure, I try my best, but I realize that I'm not perfect... no one is.

Check this out (true story)...
Just this morning I emailed a high profile client of mine about his deadline and how pleased he was going to be with the sales letter.

After sending the email, I noticed a spelling error. What did I do?

Absolutely nothing!

My point is...

Whether you're on the recieving end (let's see is that I before E, except after C - never mind) or the giving end, do what I do...

fugedaboudit.

I agree wholeheartedly with you, Tim, as far as copy is concerned. (With the caveat, "know thy audience," which you already appreciate, for sure.)

I recently went to battle with a client who wanted me to take "Elements of Style" in hand and go through my copy. I refused for the reasons you talked about. The tone and style were wholly appropriate for the audience.

Marcia was talking about her newsletter, though. So in this case it's a matter of her credibility as a writer. I can see why she'd want to be GC (gramatically correct) here.

A.

You know what really ticks a lot of noobie writers off? The fact that I make spelling mistakes (and grammar mistakes) that they would NEVER make, but I;m making more money with my brain flow than they are.

Most of the people who write in to correct me are other writers. I tell them thanks for the time they took to critique my site, and leave it at that.

But I can guarantee something. Most of those people go back to my site to see if I changed the mistake. And when they see that I didn't, it absolutely drives them completely bonkers. Sometimes they'll check in once a week and drive themselves crazy for a few months straight.

I love it.

Thank you to everyone for your input.

Perhaps the best way to respond is "Thank you for reading my work so closely! I appreciate your input."

That way I don't make them wrong, but I don't say that they were right, either. (Since they are not.) And in many cases they did respond out of a sense of concern, and I like to reward feedback unless it's abusive.

Unfortunately in the most recent instance I probably turned someone who had a positive opinion of me into someone who is going to roll their eyes when my name comes up.

If I can avoid it, I rather not have people out there who would say nasty things about me if my name came up. Just the other day, someone who had invited me to speak in Boston (where I used to live) said that when she announced that I'd agreed to come speak to their group, there was a loud murmur of approval in the room. I'd much rather have that happen!

Thanks again for helping me clarify my thoughts.

Marcia Yudkin