Dear Forum:

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry about the way I react whenever anyone challenges any of my posts.

I'm sorry I view it as a personal affront...a questioning of my competence if you will. Unfortunately, it's a psychological thing that dates back to my childhood.

Nothing I ever did was good enough for my father. Nothing. As a result, I grew up with a huge chip on my shoulder, starving for acceptance. Always feeling the need to prove myself worthy. Always needing that proverbial "pat on the back."

I guess that's why I push myself so hard.

I'm so afraid to fail. So afraid I'll hear my father calling to me from his grave with his patented "I told you so."

On top of that, I have a quick temper. But I've been working on my problems.

I've been going to counseling, as well as anger management. Obviously, I have a long way to go.

I'm not looking for sympathy. I just felt the need to explain my behavior. I'm sorry!

Dale King

My friend, you havn't so say sorry.

you are a nice person.

you know you have a common point with Michel Fortin, read some post and I will try to find the exact one, to give it for you.

Realy you have to read it.

beeing so transparent, is realy to add to your merit.

Thank you Abdellah, my friend!

All the best,
Dale King

Hey Bro. you know I think the world of you. That took guts to say. You're a very passionate person and that comes through positively in enthusiasm and negatively in temper flares.

Bottom line is this is the most professional board on the net and everyone of the "regulars" is a class act. Including you. Just try to remember that it's damn hard to read "tone" in a post. You just have to trust the other poster's intentions and give the benefit of the doubt.

So keep posting away. I for one enjoy what you contribute. Don't always agree but I enjoy it.

Dammit Dale... now go take out the garbage and clean your room!


Actually Dale, nothing to apologize for. I for one usually enjoy your posts.

Well, said, Chris.

It is sometimes DAMN hard to read the tone in a post. If we were talking in person or on the phone, I don't think these things would come up. But when you're dealing with words on a computer screen, it's not always easy.

In fact, I view the forum posts I make as a gauge sometimes to relating to empathy. It's not always easy in print.

There's no need to apologize, but it speaks volumes about you as a person when you go the extra mile to do such a thing. As Chris says, that takes guts.

Fact is, every one of us who posts here is a unique PERSON. Sometimes we all forget that when we're reading a bunch of words on a computer screen.

I think real world HUMAN posts like this one is a good reminder that we're talking to real people here. This is not an autoresponder.

Respectfully,

John

Dale,

Your passion will get you far. You are a talented guy with fantastic ideas. You can't please everyone all the time. On this journey of life, we learn from many people besides our parents. Take the good, toss out the garbage. Listen to those you respect and learn from them. We can even learn from those who make us a little (or a lot) crazy at times.

All the best,

Treece

Like Treece said, that passion will take you a long way. We all have our baggage and our hot buttons. Discussion board posts never bother me ... unless there's a put-down related to gender or race. And then, for better or for worse, my adrenalin kicks into high gear and I can be like a pit bull and not let go of it.

I, for one, am glad you're here. I always enjoy your posts.

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words! At first, I thought I had made a mistake exposing so much of myself in a public forum. But it's obvious from your kind and caring posts, I made the right decision.

Thank you all!

All the best always,
Dale King

Dale, you've made such an impact on this board in the time you've been here. It is like you grabbed hold and refuse to let go, in a strong, high-energy kind of way. In a very, very good way.

You haven't been able to see it because it's impossible for each of us to accurately view and perceive our own impact "before vs. after" ... but dude, it's there, and it's major. And it's good.

I've never been one to perceive responses to a dissenting opinion as being negative. The reason being, I do it too. I don't do it because I'm incapable of considering or accepting an opposing view (the accusation has been made) but rather because there is more to the story, there are more details/reasons behind why I feel the way I do. Often that fuller picture is important to the reader, is essential for garnering concurrence, when I didn't realize the first time around that it was necessary to put in my post.

Dale, apparently I've missed your temper. I just haven't seen it. Maybe I read into your posts differently from how you wrote them, or maybe I just haven't read the threads where your temper has flared. However it worked out -- no worries -- you've built up enough respect with me that even if I did read such posts, it wouldn't erode your position with me. Instead I'd be thinking, "whoa, this guy is serious about how he feels about ______. There must be a reason why." And I'd respect that.

I have learned tons of things, and I think I've grown tremendously as a person, through boards like this one. I've become a much more open-minded person because I actually try to put myself in the other person's shoes and really look at things through their eyes. Boards are a huge exercise in empathy for me. Often I have the experience that I can relate to what the other person is saying -- but sometimes I don't, so I can't wrap my head around it. And other times I do have first-hand experience which is much different from the other person's. I try to present that too, in response. But by disagreeing I am not trying to present them as wrong. I am simply disagreeing with their conclusion based on my information or my compass. There is a fine, but essential, line there.

My Dad is still alive and still hurling insults when convenient for him. The compliments only flow when they serve his needs, when the positives will somehow reflect back on him. Otherwise anything remotely negative (even things that we think are good things) is all my and Mom's fault. Nice, huh! I suppose it is common baggage that a lot of us carry.

Dale the best we can do, as kids of fathers like that, is to not pass their legacy on. Take pride in the things you are proud of. Take pride in the things you are good at. Live by example. Love freely -- very, very freely. Savor even the smallest victories. Focus on the positive and try not to be paranoid. (LOL!) Not everybody is like our screwed-up fathers. I know, I don't believe it all the time either but for those few moments that you can believe it, grab hold tightly and don't let go. You're one of the Good Guys, and never forget it!!!

Bailey