This is the first in a series of copy critiques related to the biz op
contest I ran.

I'll be notifying you of the rest via my sixfigurecopy.com list.

Or you can subscribe to my videos on youtube.

+ YouTube Video

Thanks Harlan for the critique!

Lots more to learn...

EDIT: BTW regarding the use of questions in headline, when is it appropriate to use? The other time when you went through some of your successful weight loss ads in a video, there were quite a few that had question-based headlines.

I think he may be drawing a distinction between headlines that offer a benefit and those that don't.

Imagine these two golf headlines (as questions).

Do you frequently hook or slice the ball?
--no benefit

Do you know the three most-important techniques pro golfers use to cure the hook and slice?
--offers a benefit [no hook/slice] from a credible source [golf pros]

Harlan, please correct me if I'm wrong.

- John

Nice critique there. I agree with all the points you made.

I had a little chuckle at the end: the loudest part of the whole video was when you said 'sixfigurecopy.com'.

LOL

I think I'll take a look at this NLP stuff...

John...

I think you could take your second example a little further, to get away from the reader making a simple yes/no reply:

"What Are The Three Most-Important Techniques Pro Golfers Use To Cure Hooks And Slices..."

(... standing, to be corrected. )

Cheers -
Al

Thanks, Al.

I probably should have looked towards Mr. Breslin if I wanted to use a golf headline as an example. I'm sure he has a good one somewhere.