Sleight of Mouth Ain't Magic?
Doug O’Brien

Sometimes people expect Sleight of Mouth to be magic – that once you know SOM you will essentially be master of the universe. They expect that, with Sleight of Mouth, you’ll be able to persuade anybody of anything at anytime, all the time. It’s not too surprising, then, that they get disappointed to find out it isn’t magic.

Well, it’s true; Sleight of Mouth ain’t magic. But then, Magic ain’t magic either. It just seems that way.

Magic works with illusion and misdirection. When watching a magic act, you believe (or at least you sort-of believe) that that rabbit came out of that empty hat because the magician waved his wand and said “abracadabra.” The reality is, of course, different. The magician’s hat may be carefully constructed to hide a false bottom and uses forced perspective to make it look normal. Then he had you focus on the wand being waved three times while he intoned the magic words. However, if you’d been looking at what his left hand was doing, you’d see he was opening that secret compartment and releasing the bunny.

Magic’s central operating principle is that people will jump to conclusions that are, in fact, inaccurate even though they may seem totally logical. A magician will utilize this tendency and get people to believe false conclusions. It’s like the trick when the woman in the box is sawed in half, and we know the woman is really lying in there because we saw stick her feet out the end of the box and wiggle them.

Effective Sleight of Mouth has the effect of showing the audience how the trick really works. It’d be like the audience all thinking, “Wow! That woman really was sawed in half!” and then having the box turned around to reveal its false sides and the contortions his assistant performed to fit in half the box while the second, hidden assistant stuck her feet out the other end. The audience’s response is, of course, “Oh, I see! I get it now. This is the real truth.”

Here's a classic Sleight of Mouth example that its originator's, Robert Dilts and Todd Epstein, came up with. This was reportedly inspired by a student’s reaction to Richard Bandler’s famous outrageousness and intensity. The student jumped to the conclusion that because Richard was loud, confrontative and outrageous, that he was being mean, and that “saying mean things means you’re a bad person.” This seemed as true to them as the “fact” that the assistant was sawed in half did to the gasping audience of the magic show. However, when Dilts and Epstein used Sleight of Mouth and revealed the truth about Richard’s intentions and his unorthodox methods, their student understood (“Oh, I see! I get it now. This is the real truth.”)

Dilts and Epstein said, "Richard's the only one who cares enough about them to say those things." (The Metaframe pattern) They said, "It may seem mean now, but if you look at the bigger picture, you'll see that it was necessary." (The Change Frame Size pattern) They asked, "Haven't you ever known anyone whoed strong language because he really cared about helping the other person to change?" (The Counter Example pattern)

Ultimately, the student could see that Richard was only saying those things to help people and that it was working – he really was helping them! The student realized Richard wasn’t really mean or a bad person. On the contrary, he was just a man willing to do whatever necessary to really help others, and that meant he was a good person.

Maybe Sleight of Mouth is like magic, after all.

Thanks Dr Kilstein!

Sleight of Mouth by Robert Dilts... worthy investment

Great article! I especially liked the example you gave that helped to crystalize your point perfectly.

John