I'm finding the font too small to read. I would suggest making it at least one point size larger. You might also try using a sans serif font, such as Arial, as sans serif fonts are easier to read online.

Janet

P.S. Can't say more because I'm having too much trouble reading it.

Christina,

If that was your first ever sales letter - it wasn't bad.

And welcome to the copywriting fraternity - it is draining writing "gun to the head - this must work or else copy"

But please take the advice from all the others - and you will see a huge difference in the response.

Steve

Hi Christina,

Nice Sales Page.

At your present conversion rate which is not bad, areas to look at:
sales page (which looks good),
call to action (perhaps add one or two more opportunities..perhaps different wording for each call to action...if you cannot wait click here to purchase now...not those words but you get the idea)...add more urgency (I recommend email follow up...i.e create more urgency later),
Source of traffic...how targeted is your traffic...I do not know your sources but tweak ads and articles, etc. More targeted=better conversion.

May I highly suggest email capture, perhaps, at free sample section...to get a free peek at all these pages and as a bonus receive our free Newletter just fill out simple registration and you will receive prompt email and immediate access to these pages. Perhaps move free sample up above fold, especially with email capture. Email capture allows you all kinds of promotional opportunities for your product and you can create urgency with limited time offer such as a discount or bonus (and really limit time) and allows promotion of related products...Newsletter provides you with confidence and trust building opportunities as well as more sales...email list should increase revenue from 20% to 500% depending on who you listen to-grin...hopefully, it will double your revenue (backend).

Perhaps add another paragraph or two to handle Michael's objection (they want to know but they don't want to know and address emotional and financial and any other aspects that might separate them from a purchase, NOW) and may I recommend with almost all you's and no I's (you approach). You may also want to use WIIFM (what is in it for me) throughout other parts of your sales page.

One other thing...Your blue hyperlinks...change to open in other window...so your prospects have not really left your sales page.

You are probably already aware that you make one small change at a time and then check results.

My comments are meant as constructive, and I do hope that you find some nugget in here that may help. Good Luck and Joy on your Internet Adventure.

Much Success,
George Pierce

Hi. I think you've picked a hot niche and wish you a lot of success.

But I think you are missing - badly - in your sales letter.

First thing to do is get inside of the mind of the partner...

What are they feeling?

What's going on inside their head?

What are the imaginary conversations they are having?

What are the emotions?

And now go back to your sales letter...

The pit of your stomach is in knots, your thoughts take control of you, and you just wish you knew the truth. The real and honest truth about your relationship.

That's it for the emotions?

I don't think you are close.

Than you come back with...

People are unfaithful by nature, too. It’s in our genes.

That’s right. Human beings were born to cheat. We are always on the lookout for another "mate". Blame genetics, blame our ancestors, blame whomever you want, but the truth remains.

Oh, oh.

You're trying to teach in a sales letter.

And it's not working.

They want to blame the straying partner.

You're saying, human beings were born to cheat.

Oh well.

So I shouldn't expect better?

People are now blaming themselves because they aren't the stronger mate.

Your sales letter ended at that point.

You need to completely rethink and rewrite your letter.

This won't work.

Good luck.

Peace.

Harlan

Excellent point, Doc.

Not only is she trying to teach, but psychologically speaking, to make a statement that all humans were born to cheat (all are cheaters), is almost like telling the reader that it's o.k. for their spouse to cheat (since it's a natural thing).

By making a statement like this, you set your reader up to perhaps think... "I guess I don't need this gals information, since there isn't anything I can do about it anyway".

I would go in a different direction, take a different approach.

I can totally understand why you would think this way... it's logical, but we're not talking about logic, we're talking about emotion.

Emotionally charged people want to feel as though someone understands them and one good way to do this is by building rapport. You can do this by opening up to them and letting them hear your story.

If you don't have a juicy enough story, make one up. You have the right as a writer to get a little creative.

Christina,
You may already know this, but I'm willing to bet that 90%+ of your market already knows or suspects that their spouse is cheating. Your job is to bring these emotions to the surface. Did I mention that people who suspect their spouse is cheating is feeling very emotional, very vulnerable?

Tip: Quietly slide in the knife and when the moment's right, twist!

And as the Doc says, no teaching (or lecturing) is allowed.

I agree with everything you stated so far. But this part I don't agree with, Been cheated on 10 or more times and then getting their story out there, I will say that's not a good "example" to be. Yes, it's something that they can imagine, but people don't want a cry-me a river type of story.

They want someone who has "made it"!

Yes, I cant write copy worth a dayum, but I'm quite good on finding angles and knowing the psychology from time-to-time. So, what I had done is-- the opposite.

Headline: How to Put Your Partner Against The Wall So They Admit If They Ever Had An Affair..

Dayum, I think the headline is not perfect, but the hook, angle I nailed. You don't want to sell them the "Cheating RIght Now Scenario" now because of all the reasons mentioned in this post. But rather put some Fun IN to The Mix With the Hunting for Answers in the present.

The product had been about, finding answers from your partners present and then determining if they are or have cheated or not. Like detective work without all the pain.

If you want to sell a lot of reports, I believe in my angle.

A story about how you do your work Undercover while your hubby is bizzy at work will do the trick. If you want to sell books -- you have to sell the dream that they are NOT cheating on you.



Peace
Peace

Hey Max,

Great points and I definitely agree with you which is why I also said that she runs the risk of being seen as weak (my nice way of saying, try something else) so the story, which doesn't currently exist, had better be really strong.

You're right about the river example, people hate that stuff. But, she already threw it out there that she had been jilted a lot of times without explanation. I think teasing them without some payoff or strong connecting story is risky at best.

Since she's not a psychologist and can't say, "I've helped 2,000 couples save their relationship" she has to be one of them. And without at least a story or two there's no connection.

Cheers

Why on earth would you want to do that?

The topic here is to find out if the partner is or not. Not sell them a lie.

maybe you can get some ideas from this website?

Infidelty,unfaithful,infidelity warning signs,internet infidelity,dealing with infidelity

I couldn't agree more. By attempting to fix anything else before you answer the questions Harlan mentioned you're spinning your wheels (in reverse).