Hi all

This is my first post on this site, thanks to kelimutu for pointing out this great site to me.

I have an Ebook which has received some good feedback (having given a few people a free copy for promotional purposes) but I am now trying to sell it on ClickBank.

Having to be a Jack-of-all-trades at the moment, I wrote the copy myself and would like anybody's feedback, I would really appreciate it, good and back feedback welcome.

My site is: Internet Marketing Complete System

Thanks,
Phil

Hey Phil,
I don't have much time as I'm about to run out the door, but here's a quick run-down and FYI, I don't have time to go over the entire sales page at this time.

Here goes...

I would lose the top header (it's just taking up unnecessary real estate and serves no real purpose). Save the word "system" for your headline, if you'd like.

Speaking of headlines, I would work on it. Write out dozens if you can and test the best ones (Brian Keith Voiles is said to write over a couple hundred before choosing his).

I would stay away from trying to sell the ebook at the top of the page therefore I would get rid of the ebook picture and take the word "ebook" out of your headline (maybe out of your copy altogether).

Move the ebook cover for a little further down the page (perhaps in the call to action phase of the letter).

Something else...

You aren't selling an "ebook", you're selling a "success system". people are tired of ebooks, but they are always willing to try and follow someone else's successful system and strategies (try saying that three times fast).

I would try a different font for the body copy. Old codgers like me like the fonts much larger. For the web, Tahoma, Arial, or Verdana might be a better choice for readability.

I noticed you've bolded way too much (when you put too much emphasis, in your copy, you emphasize nothing). This is much like trying to highlight every other paragraph... it's just not good practice and creates too much distraction as well.

On Bonuses...

No offense, but if all you have to offer is stuff you can get on the web for free (Think and Grow Rich), then I would rather leave bonuses out altogether.

Sorry, gotta run.
Hopefully some other folks will step in and give you more advice.

Have a great day!

Hi Stephen

Thanks very much for your help, you've made some great suggestions which I will change. I agree also that my a couple of my bonuses are lame, I need to find some way of getting some decent ones, I'm trying to secure a decent JV deal somehow.

As for the bolding, it looks like a lot but this is a techniquq I learnt from Frank Kern who I think got it from John Carlton? Basically, because a lot of people skim read the copy, they just look at the bold text. If you look at my page and just read down through the bold, it actually tells a story of what you will get without reading the rest of the text.

However, I take a good point from you that things should be tested so I will try different variations with less bolding.

A VERY good point about the whole 'Ebook thing', I like your idea about concentrating more on the fact that it is a 'system'.

Ok, thanks yet again.
Phil