Hello Everyone,

I need a second opinion on a new ad I created today for placement in Home Business Magazine. You can see the ad here

freelongdist_fullpg

I want the ad to drive traffic to our website and receive prospects that want to learn how to make free long distance calls to save their money. We intend to sell a report that they can download immediately from the site that will show them how to call long distance for free. Does this ad capture your interest? Does it generate enough interest to make you want to go to our website for more information?

Any opinions and comments would be greatly appreciated.
Wayne

Hey Wayne,

You've got something that would probably cause me to check out your website, but I feel like your headline could be much shorter and more direct.

Why not open with something like "FREE Long Distance" or "FREE Phone Calls"?

Your website address could also be more visible too. I'd suggest using the full width of the page if you want people to see it and remember it.

Cheers,

Steve

Got any testimonials to go in there?

Wayne,

The paragraph you have is providing as much punch as the 3 bullets on your landing page. I would consider a version of that for the ad.

Is the ability to "call distant loved ones" the real trigger here? How often does one long to speak with distant loved ones?

Wouldn't saving money on a volume of calls be the bigger attraction to a small business owner?

I agree with steve on the URL - lose the red. One color - clean font. No room to be fancy or cute with pertinate info. If nothing else - change that.

Let us know how it pulls. How are you tracking it?

Good luck.

Wayne,

All the advice so far is superb.

Steve is spot on about the headline. I'd build on his suggestion by working in a verb at the beginning. Something like, "Make Long Distance Phone Calls for FREE!"

On second thought, to justify the euphoria of the guy jumping for joy, maybe it should read, "FREE At Last! FREE At Last! Make ALL Your Long Distance Calls for FREE!"

This way, we get in our verb, FREE 3x, and "Your" plus the qualifier "ALL." Not to mention, "At Last" addresses a time element.

I agree with Rogers Copy, bullet points are in order. And he's right about tightening up the relationship between target audience and benefits touted.

From what's shared in the ad, it looks like you have enough fodder for only 2 decent bullets. You'll need to add another benefit to make 3.

The two I see are (1) save money now and (2) make international calls for free (or greatly reduced - not sure of your particulars). After tightening up your message-to-market match, a 3rd bullet might leap out at you.

On your homepage you use an arrow to direct the eye to click the link to go get the Guide. This is good. In the ad, however, I'm not so sure the little downwards triangle does its job quite as effectively.

BTW, even if the URL were one color... either the bolding of the letters or the choice of font itself still make it hard to read (at least on screen).

On the homepage or the Guide page, will you have a way to capture names even if they don't buy the report?

What data do you have that suggests readers of Home Business Magazine are in your target market?

As a business owner, I currently pay a flat fee for unlimited long distance. From a reputable company with good service. And it's a business expense. Why would your offer interest me or any other business owner?

As it is now, your ad gives me a "Yeah, sure" response. It's vague and lacks any real benefit or anything that would make me curious enough to visit your site.

And why does your ad for free long distance in Home Business Magazine mention calling distant loved ones? I'm assuming anyone that replied would be doing so for business use.

Hello Everyone,

Thank you very much for your comments and suggestions. I found them to be incredibly helpful and as a result I have made some changes to my initial ad and uploaded the new ad here

freedist_fullpg2

Please let me know what you think of the changes.

Thank you again for your help.

Wayne

Hi Wayne,

I think the ad is much improved. But, I'd be holding back if I didn't voice objection to the "Free at last!" headline. It is catchy and tempting to use...

However, taking a famous historical quote from a slain civil rights leader and blasting it to pawn free long distance is, IMHO, distasteful.

Maybe I'm being touchy, but as a middle aged white man whose never faced racial prejudice of any kind, I can't help but be sensitive to it. LOL. I jest, but I do consider the phrase off limits to kitschy exploitation.

Maybe others will chime in on this to help you guage.

Hi Roger,

Thanks for your feedback. I agree with your assessment of the new headline. I was second guessing the "free at last" part myself. Do you think the original headline would work better "Never pay for long distance calls again!" or maybe "FREE Long Distance Calls Forever" will work better. Any thoughts?

Wayne

How about taking advantage of that worked up looking guy and saying something in quotes:

"Yeah, baby! My long distance calls just went freeeeeeeeee! That's right! I'm gonna pay zero!"