Unblock Writer's block in 5 minutes forever

this is for a book I wrote.

so I need better ideas here. tell a story? more hype? less hype? dofferent colors? different font?
longer? shorter?

which bullets do you like? don't like? bullet suggestions?

A few questions...
1) where is the traffic going to be coming from?
2) what state of mind are these people in?

you need to tell the story that will resonate with these people, more detail about all of the things you tried on-line, and what they were and why they didn't work, or weren't valuable, while you keep teasing your content as the true answer. You should assume that your audience has likely already heard the Free Advice and you need to empathize with them.

The bullets should be organized around curiosity arousal:

* the three things that should never be in eyesight when you are writing;
* how to accurately determine the absolute best place and time for you to write;
* how to take your writing on the road, without missing a beat;
* how to get in the zone, without allowing your family and kids to distract you;
etc...
not meant to be actual content, just the general idea, these are not particularly provocative...
You should think about giving your method a Name like the Magellan System, or the Sangria Method (I think that is Jason Mofatt's method!), to differentiate.

Worry about the colors and fonts after you have a great message. First though you need to understand your traffic.

Hey Warner, as someone mentioned on WF you're writing to writers. You've gotta convince us you're not blocked... but this reads like you were.

The headline and subhead are fairly weak. Are you asking a question or making a statement? Either way they don't flow. The subhead is a bit of a stumbling block "get writing and be on with it" doesn't really say much and for some reason I want to say "be one with it". It's a pause phrase.

On my screen about 60% of your above the fold space is your ebook cover, that's not doing any selling for you so move it somewhere else.

The rest of the copy is also fairly weak. The first line "build your writing life" is another pause... what does that actually mean? Do I want a writing life? Do your prospects think in those terms?

And I know this is a writing product, but the word "write" or "writing" seems to be in every sentence and it feels like you've keyword stuffed it every chance you got.

Bottom line, you can get tips on things to improve here and there, but to make it work I reckon you're better off start fresh. You're going to find it hard to get anyone to shell out $28 with what you've got so far.

Get out your swipe file and model other successful salesletters. Follow the same basic structure and you'll be in a much better place for a thorough critique.

Rob

I am using adwords mainly but will also have a link from my blog.

I re-wrote it from the suggestions so far, maybe you can have a look again.

Thanks for offering creative, positive and usefull commentary

Warner,

Kyle's advice is spot on particularly about swiping in order to comes across as "walking the talk."

You'll notice many swipes use pre-heads before the headline.

The pre-head often calls out the target audience. This has the effect of getting them to think, "I'm in the right place" and that softens them up to buy into the headline.

For example, something as simple and direct as:

If You Struggle With Writer's Block...

Warner,

Re-read Kyle's points.

Your words just didn't flow well, so I would swear you either couldn't write or had a bad case of block when you did this. Word flow is just as important as all the other page elements...especially with this product.

I would also work more on one of two things (or maybe both). I'm talking about the way you describe the writer's block condition...or possibly the way you describe the cure. I think either one could work. But it's not enough to say "I had it, and now I don't."

I think the use of metaphors could really help this copy. For example, get into how nice it was to be able to write again--

"It felt like I was flying...the words were coming out so beautifully, they were flowing as if I was pouring water from a fountain"

Something like that.

On the other extreme, you could dive more into the problems of writers block, and how much of a pain it is. Maybe mention deadlines, nagging editors, nagging clients, nagging doubts in your mind. You can find a good example of this here:

Eric Engel - Who is this guy? » Blog Archive » Writer’s Block…a sad story

But then, I don't think this is the best route...as writers already know how much of a pain it is. They would want to hear more about solutions.

Eric and everyone, thanks for your input. I do feel a little intimidated over copywriting and it does not flow as freely as other writing.

I just re-wrote the main body of the copy and know I got more into my own writing when I did it so I hope it comes across better.

The product is unique in its simplicity and effectiveness. I am selling to a real market.

I think I just need to get my copy up to par to get sales on this.