Day 1 - Headline Exercise - Page 2

Nebulousx · **Re: Day 1 - Headline Exercise -** 05-03-2008, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rogers Copy

Hey! What happen to day 2 and 3? Here's a friendly tip... next time start this thread on day 101 of your exercise.

Be quiet, Kevin. I think these threads suffered a very timely demise.

What I'm wondering is why is Clayton's copycub doing AWAI exercises?

Prouddad · **Re: Day 1 - Headline Exercise -** 05-03-2008, 04:35 PM

...........and I'm wondering why this thread wasn't placed in the Critique Requests Forum.

Rob

Kevin Rogers · **Re: Day 1 - Headline Exercise -** 05-03-2008, 05:45 PM

Or why Clayton's copy cub didn't do his AWAI exercise on critique requests...

Cartoonman · **Re: Day 1 - Headline Exercise -** 05-03-2008, 06:27 PM

You're certainly tapping into a very hot issue but
this headline and opening don't really hit the mark 2.

I like the concept behind the headline.

Also I don't think anyone has substantially improved on
the impact of what you've written yet.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

P.S. You might want to try tying that headline and opening directly into
what your prospect is likely to lose or gain as a result of the
tanking US dollar.

Make it speak to them personally.

NextDay-Copy · **Re: Day 1 - Headline Exercise -** 05-04-2008, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cartoonman

You're certainly tapping into a very hot issue but
this headline and opening don't really hit the mark 2.

I like the concept behind the headline.

Also I don't think anyone has substantially improved on
the impact of what you've written yet.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

P.S. You might want to try tying that headline and opening directly into
what your prospect is likely to lose or gain as a result of the
tanking US dollar.

Make it speak to them personally.

Judy <<<---- sits here admiring how Andrew exemplifies the principles in "How To Win Friends and Influence People" -- a book I know he likes and recommends.

skywriteing · **Re: Day 1 - Headline Exercise -** 05-04-2008, 03:44 PM

Quote:

I happened to like this:

Four Simple Steps You Can Take To Immediately Protect Your Retirement …

As for this suggestion:

Compare The Amazing Value Of These 3 Simple Techniques You Will Discover That Can Immediately Protect Your Retirement & Much More.

It took this old brain too much effort to parse it. Compare? Ugh, sounds like work -- you lost me right there.

I do try to screen some people out.

NextDay-Copy · 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skywriteing

I do try to screen some people out.

Hmmm...should I take that personally?

The work I'm referring to is the amount of work I would have to bring to the table to understand the point that the writer was trying to make.

If I can understand complex software commands (which I can), I surely can understand this. That's not the point. The point is in making me WANT to expend the effort in order to to so.

If you make people have to work to try and understand you, most of the time you'll lose them. Their inability to comprehend may be due to any number of factors other than innate capability (iow, they could still be quite adequate candidates for what you have to offer)-- e.g., being tired; being rushed; being in an environment with many distractions.

Gotta pass that 2-7 second (depending upon who you listen to) test of catching the reader's interest.

Obviously, I failed to make myself sufficiently clear to you.

But I wasn't trying to write a headline, either.