First of all I wanted to thank you guys for all your help in the past... I know some of you are on warrior forum, and I got some help there as well.

Well, I'm back. I've been tweaking my sales copy, but with no results. I know Vin said the header graphic is killing my chances, but I can't get in touch with my designer so I don't know what to do about that just now.

Can you guys help me out with the copy? It's so hard to read my own copy and try to put myself in a customer's shoes to see what he thinks. I'd love to get a second (or third, or fourth...etc.) set of eyes to let me know what you think, and what needs to be changed.

I didn't want to make it too sales-pitchy, since I think that's what every other competitor does, but I dunno. I guess that's what sells.

I'm just so frustrated, and feeling so clueless now as to what I'm doing right and what I'm mostly doing wrong.

the website is GetLaidin3Days.com: Guaranteed results within 3 days

Thanks!
James

James

Check this out
How to tell if a girl likes you by CreativeFossil

Since going live in November this article has been read 12,560+ times and it grows daily, look at the responses!

Attach a related product to an article like that and it's gonna sell.

My article doesn't play on fear (which I know you're all advised to do these days in marketing) but it draws readers as that is what they are Googling!

Get yourself an affiliate

Someone who HOSTS numerous relationship and dating sites

Someone who is read 4000+ times weekly

A relationship columnist perhaps?

Who is this person??? Where can you find them???

Here I am, check out my home page Creative Blogger - What's New

Pm

Only if that's what the market responds to.

James,

If you can't get the header fixed... Lose it entirely. Use text on a white page. I bet you do better.

Maybe the problem with your product is this

The angle

Most men I know who are virgins (usually scientists) are not the sort who would buy a book like this. They would be unwilling to accept they were doing anything wrong and to believe that they are in need of change. (Hence they are still virgins)

Their feeling is that 'nice guys don't get laid' and that 'women only date bad boys' so place the emphasis there instead of on their physical looks.

I have an article on my site here: Soul Mate For You!: Why women like bad boys! by C Akiteng written by C Akiteng about why bad boys get laid.

Check it out and perhaps change your angle some what.

Hey Guys,

Thanks for the responses so far. I'll give it a shot without the header.

As far as the copy goes, I think you're right about the nice guy vs. bad boy approach over looks. I will add that in.

Do you think the rest of it is compelling though? Or does it seem like choppy and not really persuasive?

I think you need to ask some male virgins opinions

Meanwhile on my screen the Ad is all over the place display wise, huge gaps between lines and the font is tiny, that in itself would stop many reading it.

Why don't you start smaller without an AD, offer some gems of content as articles, thereby establishing yourself as guru then submit articles to articles sites (SEO to the max) then in bio or signature have link to your eBook etc.

If I was a guy, I'd be interested till it started to look like a sales page (testimonials and more eBooks) then I;d think, oh it's just another one of those and I would stop believing in the story.

Maybe you could try doing it from the girl angle.

'How to get into MY pants' by Hot girl

"I am a hot girl and if you're NOT a hot guy or you're a 'nice guy' who you think I'd never date then think again!

Would you even ask a hot girl for a date?...no!

Well I am gonna tell you the secrets for getting me hot for you and it has nothing to do with looks, money and fast cars so if you don't have those things, it won't make any difference.

I have dated short men, fat men, poor men, rich men all different but they all had one thing in common...the balls to ask me out!

With those balls came the following 5 things which I will pass on to you for $

So if you want to find out how to get into MY pants...here's how!

etc etc...pic of hot girl enclosed...
-------------------------------


This could work...why? Because men are competative and curious creatures and they will want to know how the fat man got into the hot girls pants!

This: I'm going to show you how a 5-foot-7, balding computer programmer figured out how to sleep with 9s and 10s every single night... stealing them away from guys that were far better looking... taller... and with way more money than I could make in a lifetime.

Sounds like the so-called seduction masters and rip off pickup artists you were dissing in the previous line.

If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.

I know this stuff is every guy's fantasy...but let's get real--and move away from the cliche fantasy.

Everybody promises this and it simply never happens.

Someone needs to invent a new USP for this market!

It does happen Suz! I am proof

When I was 16, me and my pal fancied like crazy our Karate instructor, he was bald, had beard and was no taller than 5ft 4!

Guess what

His wife was a tall hot blonde!

I do not generally go for guys who look like this but this guy exuded something very sexy. Confidence, sense of humor and cheek! He was adorable.

I later found myself feeling like I was in love with a rather aged (in 60's) anaesthetist. Why? Because he was kind and tender and soothing when i needed those things. It was really weird.

The secret to women falling for men is to find out what the woman 'needs' at that time and to provide it in abundance. Whether it be a shoulder to cry on, a laugh, a saucy comment, an intelligent brainiac conversation that will grab their attention.

So virgins listen up!

Figure out what the woman wants and deliver. Learn how to read women and best of all learn how to 'win' in any situation.

Here's some tips:

When approaching a woman for the first time wait till she is deleriously happy and laughing then she will always associate that good feeling with you! Similarly NEVER approach her when she's miserable and she'll associate that with you too.

ASK her a favour, instantly makes her feel important and valued. Do you know how RARE it is for a man to ever ask a woman for advice or help???
Damn rare, so set yourself at the top of the game and ask away!

DO, be cheeky with a smile, amazing what you can get away with when smiling. Tell her she should take you for a drink..when she protests you say you'll buy the first round *wink*
She will admire you for your balls!

Confidence sells, believe in yourself, tell yourself YOu are the bomb. The feeling is infectious, pretty soon everyone around you will be believing it too.

Now rock on and lose that virginity!

Hey, if it's working

There is a similar line in John Alanis' Ultimate Unlimited System letter... "5-7, balding, bad-dresser.... blah blah blah.... relationships with women even the truly rich, truly powerful can only dream about" and I hear it's doing alright.