Hi All

I am new to the forum, very glad to be here.

I've sat down 3 times now and re-done the sales copy at

http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com and am now in the 'refining' stage.

I know that I don't have a "sales copy mind" so to speak, but have pushed through it so I am hopeful. Given that this such a specific subject, my 3% conversion rate is way too low in my opinion.

(I honestly don't have enough traffic yet anyway for clear numbers anyway so the 3% number doesn't mean a whole lot to me other than I know it needs to get better.)

I would very much be appreciative if anyone who is skilled in the copywriting area could take a look and give me an opinion, suggesstions, etc. to make the copy more encapsulating, grabbing, etc so conversion % increases.

http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com

Thanks very much everyone!

Best,

Karl Augustine

Karl,
Hi, I read the headline and the first few bullets and lines:
you tried so hard to optimize for "divorce" for the search engines, that the copy suffers in my opinion.
Here's an example:
You start with a quote at the top that says, "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce" (then quote the site owner itself-WHY??? Why not have a quote from someone well-known or a testimonial here: "I learned how to cope with my own divorce without wanting to kill my ex-and stayed out of prison"-Mrs. Smith, Arkansas; or something like that? Quoting the guy who wrote the book and is trying to sell it to me does NOTHING for me); the headline then practically repeats what you said in this quote.
I'm all for optimization, if it's done well. But when I see the word "divorce" used over and over just to use it, and not as part of good-flowing copy, well, it jars.
Also, in the first lines of the letter, you TELL people what they are thinking and feeling. Most people resent this (who the "heck" does HE think he is?). Why not let them discover how they feel for themselves, by asking a few leading questions?
"Is your marriage on the rocks-and you're not sure what the right decision should be?" "
"Do you ever feel paralyzed emotionally-unsure of what to do as you try to cope each day with a marriage that simply isn't working out?"
"Do you wish you had an 'action plan' that could help you make the RIGHT decision-and start taking charge of your life (instead of feeling flattened by your circumstances?)...
With questions, you're leading them to their problem, without shouting out them that they are messed up and need help.
I think a letter like this takes a lot of empathy, myself, to "connect" with the reader.
Good luck with it,
Sheri

Hi Sheri

Thanks for the feedback, most appreciated.

"you tried so hard to optimize for "divorce" for the search engines, that the copy suffers in my opinion" --> ironically, I didnt try to optimize this at all, I was just writing what came to mind. My SEO is done elsewhere. But, I certainly get your point, too many mentions of 'divorce'.

You start with a quote at the top that says, "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce" (then quote the site owner itself-WHY??? Why not have a quote from someone well-known or a testimonial here: "I learned how to cope with my own divorce without wanting to kill my ex-and stayed out of prison"-Mrs. Smith, Arkansas; or something like that? Quoting the guy who wrote the book and is trying to sell it to me does NOTHING for me); the headline then practically repeats what you said in this quote ---> not sure I follow you here, but I see the redundancy of the sub headline and headline. The "A Practical Guide..." is the name of the book, not a quote...what do you mean by "quote the site owner"? I haven't quoted anyone... help

Also, in the first lines of the letter, you TELL people what they are thinking and feeling. Most people resent this (who the "heck" does HE think he is?). Why not let them discover how they feel for themselves, by asking a few leading questions?" ----> yes, I see what you mean, makes perfect sense--how the heck do i know how they feel? Didnt think of it like that, will definitely change this.

Thanks for the great feedback, this copywriting stuff takes a while to learn...I'm making a strong concerted effort, but am of the belief that my copywriting education won't ever stop, it is an ongoing thing.

Thanks again for the feedback and any other insights are greatly appreciated!
Best,

Karl

Karl,

Is it possible that it's not the copy but the visitores that are the problem? What I mean is, is it possible that your search engine ranking is pulling in the wrong types of people?

How does anyone know this, by the way?

Jane

You can analyze the type of people who came to your site from the search engines by looking at the log files or the web statistics. Study the terms that they have used to search and you know if you are getting the right type of people.

And Karl, blue underlined text denotes a clickable link and you are confusing your visitors. Please use some other highlighting like a different colour.

Arun

Thanks for taking the time to lend a hand Arun, most appreciated.

My web logs show that I am getting people who search on terms that are consistent with someone who would find my book useful...I am just not converting them at the rate I'd like. ugh!

Thanks for the heads up about the blue links, these have been changed. I can see how that would be confusing to visitors.

Thanks again.

Best

Karl Augustine

What are the terms?

Michel

I have sent you an email.

"In response to 'what are the terms' on the forum." is in the SUBJ line.

Looking forward to your reply.

Thanks!

Karl

Your terms your emailed me has the word "divorce" a lot. To me, the terms you offer tend to be more legal -- or have psychological connotations. For example, to me, "reasons for divorce" means someone looking for ways to justify their desire for a divorce or ideas to use in order to allay the fears/challenges of divorce.

I don't think people are really undecided anout divorce. They would make a decision if they knew it would mean less hassle. Divorce (or staying in a mariage) is never easy. So it's not the indecision that kills people inside. It's the obstacle, often the spouse, which is causing the lack of decision.

I would be more focused on how to end or save a mariage -- and how to stop, reduce or circumvent the hassle, problems, pain, etc of dealing with a spouse in a divorce situation.

Also, here's an interesting note.

I would try "mariage" instead. Here's why: we've conducted tests with a similar (but non-competing) product for one of my clients, and we found that the word "mariage" outpulled "divorce" on Google AdWords an in copy. Whatever the reason might be because of what I mentioned earlier: less hassle.

Again, I think people would rather skip the hassle of divorce -- or decide going through with divorce if they knew it would be less money, less hassle, less pain (not just the pain of indecision but the pain of dealing with the spouse). So your copy might want to talk about dealing with the pain of deciding to divorce (or not) rather than dealing with the pain of indecision... Because I think it's not an indecision problem but rather a "how do I prevent a divorce" or "how do I avoid the pain of divorce" or "how do I save my mariage."

That said, and I didn't read the other posts in depth, but I think it has more to do with your copy. One thing that popped out at me is the lack of credentialization and proof. Why? Because you talk about your story with your own pain and indecision, but you don't give substance to why we should listen to you.

What makes your strategies tried and true? Why do they work? How did you copme up with the answers? Were they tested? What were the results (beyond testimonials)? What pages are specific steps described? (For example, "How to get into the mind set that you need to be in to make this difficult decision," then add, "(Page 45, Chapter 2)." OR something like that.

Maybe a 3D cover graphic would help as well. You can use a free 3D cover graphic maker such as http://www.BoxShotMaker.com/

Michel

I very much appreciate you taking the time to give me some insight. You make excellent points, seems I have lots more work to do.

Copy writing is painful but intriguing to , it seems to be complex yet simple. No wonder good copy writers get paid well!

Again, thanks very much, most appreciated.

Karl Augustine