Hello Everyone!

I'm new to the world of copywriting and my goal is to learn how to write persuasive copy that compels customer to take actionaction in my case: a click through to the vendor’s product.

I would like to learn how to write better copy for products that I promote through mini review sites.

The hardest part for me is trying to figure out the approach I want to take for each site that I promote. As I begin to write, I always find myself changing the lead paragraph as I get new ideas, I feel like my writing is sometimes to generic which is why I go back and re-write.

Since testing copy is a very lengthy process that can sometimes take weeks at a time, I try to write the best possible review I can come up with so I can test knowing that I tried my very best.

This approach is frustrating because I can easily spend 3-5 hours on the stupid lead paragraph alone.

So, I was wondering if anyone here writes reviews for products that can give me advice on how to create a faster work flow for reviews or even some constructive criticism on my thinking process.

May I please get a Critique?

Here is a review that I wrote. I am currently converting at 2% but I am sure I can get it to convert a lot higher with the right copy and approach.

I would highly appreciate if one of you fine copywriters could critique my copy and give me pointers on how I can improve.

Here’s the site: http://topxbox360repairguides.com/index2.php

Thank you for taking the time to read this post and thank you in advance for your support!

Bobby

Howdy Bobby!

Loved the title .

There are some things that could be improved though. First of all the length. Given the target audience, you are most likely dealing with an appalling attention deficit, so it would work best if you kept the whole copy a bit more tight.

The next thing is the whole 30 seconds waiting period. These guys don't wait. If they don't see what they need now, they'll skip it, just like that, so you should present your personal experience in another angle. Perhaps a "How did this offer came to be" sort of angle. I could probably come with a better if I'd stick my mind to it.

As for the confession, this is an area where although you pack a serious punch, you could definitely improve. Remember your audience and avoid common sales letter cliches like "Time and time again" and "serious problem". I like seriously enjoyed your overall language (sic!) , but you should stick to the common accepted terminology. It's the "3 red rings of death", not lights.

Otherwise, this is more than decent copy. Congrats.

Hope this helps.

Best regards, George

Your style of writing is quite different from mine – so I think I'll stick with saying what I like about your landing page.

It's easy to understand. Your headline, although it has some Don't s in it, works. In fact, I wonder if you should trade your smaller "Learn How..." subhead with the bigger headline? This is actually more powerful, to me.

I like that your header/banner is uncluttered. The text is what you want to stand out, and it does.

The way you bold certain phrases in your text is excellent! Perfect technique for a webpage. Reading on a computer screen is stressful for eyeballs, so most will tend to skim to a greater or lesser degree. Your bolded text works to give them the gist of your message and suck'em back into reading.

Your subheadings such as "What Causes The 3 Red Lights?" are in a font style that is hard for my tiny brain to switch to reading from scanning your sans-serif body text font. It's just a little too much of an adjustment. But the color works – as do the words.

I also like your photo and bio in the sidebar. Maybe you could make the text a tad darker? It's a bit difficult to read on my laptop.

Hope this helps,
Dot

Hi Bobby,

I think your copy is good. It speaks directly to the customer in their own language. One thing I didn't get was how the guy from India turned into you hanging up with Laura. Looks like something got deleted there.

Anyway, I think you've got a good voice. You'll have to back off the gratuitous cursing if you ever want samples that will get you copywriting work (one, MAYBE two add emphasis - any more looks like you can't control yourself). Otherwise I think your better than most noobs.

Good luck.