Copywriters Board
Forum Rules
Go Back   Copywriters Board > Posting Forums > Critique Requests
Reload this Page My 103.000€ Copy - can you improve it?
Critique Requests Need a second opinion on your copy or strategy? Get feedback here. Be clear and specific. No advertising!

Notices
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink) Old
New Member
GermanHalbert is on a distinguished road
 
Posts: 8
Join Date: Feb 2005
Rep Power: 0
Friends: 0
Arrow My 103.000€ Copy - can you improve it? - 02-18-2008, 04:34 PM

Hi, here is the copy that made
103.000€ last year: ebookschreiben-de

It´s German, who cares. Can you give me some
bulletpoints, what I should test next?

What can I improve?
Are there to many testimonials?
Or whatever...?

Best regards,
GH


No stuff to sell
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiReddit! Stumble this Post!Google Bookmark this Post!Share on Facebook Bookmark to Sphinn!Twit this!
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink) Old
Master
John_S is on a distinguished road
 
Posts: 605
Join Date: Dec 2004
Rep Power: 4
Friends: 1
Default Re: My 103.000€ Copy - can you improve it? - 02-18-2008, 06:57 PM

Quote:
what I should test next?
Probably the French, Spanish, and English language versions. That should give you some things to test.

Really, the sane copywriting advice is don't mess with success. That said there are some things to carefully experiment with. And I'll provide the surprise answer at the end.

-- Do I want an internet business that's 95% automated. No. I want it 100% automated. Or, alternatively 98.7% automated (A 'real' number) with a small "qualifier."

An example: If you can bag your own groceries here's how you can save 12.2% on food bills.

What this example has that all the round numbers and incredible claims don't is what Eugene Schwartz called "Belief Structure." If you've got a graph on leverage from different income sources, you credentialize it with a source, like Der Spiegel.

This has authenticity general round numbers and unbacked claims don't. And it should show up in results.

Next, the big weakness of IM, and ebooks in particular, is the ebook product itself. For example, in one forum came this post (not mine) "Just today I saw a product which shall remain nameless...it may be the best product out there. HOWEVER, it contains something like 27 DVDs. I am immediately put off by this."

This is an opportunity and insight into why people don't buy bloated ebook products. Properly done it allows you both "big product" and "quick access."

The secret all the ebook geniuses are missing. Information is only information if you can access it and put it into use. Information that isn't actionable isn't information -- it's a paperweight.

Jay Abraham is a fairly savvy information marketer. What he does is extensively cross-reference. It takes me only about thirty seconds to find a quickly digestable, actionable nugget. Even video DVDs have a "Scene Index." And guess what? In an ocean of products which are "data dumps" this is a competitive advantage. When your reader understands they can get to and act on the information you provide, you are more likely to make a sale.

But that's not the surprise answer.

The surprise answer is, even if you improve response, at 103K Euro you should be testing back end upsells for this product. The lion's share of the money you're now leaving on the table may be on the next steps in the selling process. At least, that's the place to look.

With that, you can focus on the next step beyond testimonials: Case Histories of Successful Buyers of the first product.

Related:

How to Build Value With Belief Structure


Check out the first two reports in The Copywriters Hoard...
How to Find the “Selling Story” Buried in Your Business
What would Direct Response Graphic Design look like?
And you can get the rest ...ask me how when we discuss your project

Last edited by John_S; 02-18-2008 at 07:09 PM.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiReddit! Stumble this Post!Google Bookmark this Post!Share on Facebook Bookmark to Sphinn!Twit this!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Help with better copy to improve conversion warner444 Copywriting Discussion 5 08-28-2007 10:58 AM
Help me improve my copy and web design qwert Critique Requests 9 10-21-2006 09:43 AM
Have You Used This Method To Improve Your Copy? webavt Copywriting Discussion 8 03-08-2006 05:10 PM
How to improve my copy for personal organization course whiterabbit Critique Requests 15 10-11-2005 02:33 PM
Take-You-By-The-Hand Copy Critiques To Improve Copy + Sales jon006 Member Content 0 04-21-2005 05:43 PM



Copyright © 2003-2008 The Success Doctor, Inc. | SEO by vBSEO 3.2.0 RC8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Subscribe to The RSS Feed!