Hey Guys,

This is a pre-sell copy for the popular Fatloss4idiots (fancy-pants graphics aside, their sales letter sucks)

[link removed]

I am not getting enough opt-ins

There are 2 possibilities which I suspect are hurting my opt-in rate...

#1. The "Reason Why" they should buy the software is weak. All that I said was they should buy the software coz they won't know the amount of calories they should be eating and that the calorie amount will always change, so it's almost impossible to calculate.

#2. I am really not sure about this, but would breaking down a lengthy sales letter into digestible chunks, that are linked to one another through a "Next Page" button, kill readership?

Looking forward to some inputs!

TIY,

covertguy

PS: Please do not include the URL of my site in your reply as I do not want my site to be picked up by the Search Engines

PPS: The URL will be removed as soon as I get enough inputs to get me going.

Ha Ha...I wonder if you have to be an idiot for the program to work, or if you have to be an idiot to THINK it would work?

Really...confuse my metabolism?

I'm sorry...I couldn't resist. It's just so goofy.

You gotta click 2 X before even reaching the opt-in form. That could be hindering your opt-in rates a bit. I'm sorry, but unless you have some darn good reasons to watch a slide show, I don't see a whole lot of people clicking the next button.

Huh?

I don't get you, Eric.

What's the problem with "confusing your metabolism into burning more fat?"

Are you insinuating that there's some gross factual error with the sentence?

I didn't know that our metabolism had a mind of its own. And the fact that it's a 4idiots guide makes it funny...as if the idiocy of the metabolism is somehow connected to the product's name. I just think the whole thing is a riot

Hi, you've asked me to comment on your copy in a PM while I'm away
on a yoga retreat.

So here's the short version of my comments:

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Get it?

Boring.

Totally not connecting with your target audience.

Try going out on the street and talking to fat people.

Go to an OA meeting and talk to people.

Learn how to talk to the people instead of down at them.

But the copy is major league boring.

And you don't handle the copy breaks well...

This multiple page thing works but there's no reason for them to go on.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Peace.

The doc brings up a point that I think almost every 'lose weight' marketer ignores...FAT people. Not soccer moms who want to fit into a dress. FAT people.

I've said it before when the subject comes up. If you want to know how to sell to fatties, look at Richard Simmons. Look at his core message in his ads and in his videos themselves.

A lot of people thought it was his personality that made him a hit, but I say bull ca-ca. His personality made his message more believable. But anyone could use his same message (with a different credibility technique) and they'd wipe the floor with most of the lose weight products out there.

I don't think their sales letter sucks. I disagree with their weight loss philosophy but obviously their copy works. It says you don't have to count calories and makes it sound like their diet is something new. It's selling hope, which is ultimately what one is doing in the weight loss market.

Also, I think persona is important, like in the case with Richard Simmons because people aren't just looking for a new diet book or software because they've already tried dozens of those. Are you marketing this to men or to women? Because I don't see how your sales letter would appeal to women.

Weight loss is an area I work extensively in as a marketer/copywriter and what the women love are before and after photos, a story, knowing that the author has struggled in the same ways they are currently struggling and a message that is real. So if you're target audience is men, your approach might work, but some graphics would really help.

Good luck.

Excellent advice, Anne, thanks!

By the way, Anne, when you said "It says you don't have to count calories", are you implying that counting calories can be really COMPLEX, or even IMPOSSIBLE, and that most won't attempt doing it?

Coz I am not really sure what wld be the STRONGEST "Reason Why" they should buy my software (I'm a newbie in this niche as you can tell)

In my sales letter, I gave 2 particular reasons - but I didn't really accentuate on them as strongly as I thought I should.

#1 "Reason Why": You don't know the number of calories you should be eating at each meal...

#2 "Reason Why": The calories will differ from meal to meal...

Maybe another "Reason Why" I might wanna include is that Counting Calories is really COMPLEX...?

What do you think?

PS: Harlan, looking forward to greater substantiation on the "Copy Breaks" thingy. I don't think anyone has taught this.

I think Fat Loss For Idiots uses "low calorie diets don't work" in their sales letter because people really want to believe that even though they know better. It's work to have to count calories and pay attention to fat grams and carbs so it's seductive to think that there might be a diet out there that would relieve them of that burden. Also, they say they have a "secret" so that curiosity keeps them clicking to the next page.

Their secret is "calorie shifting" which, admittedly, is a concept most people haven't heard of before and because it's different, that keeps people clicking too because they want to read about it.

Also, they provide an on-line diet generator to help you plan meals, which is what you are promoting. I haven't purchased the product so I don't know how helpful it is. But that's something different that the usual ebook.

Does the software provide recipes or just a list of foods? Women love recipes so if there are recipes that should be emphasized. And it would also be good to emphasize that this isn't just the typical book, that this software is something they can return to again and again and get different meals plans each week and that there is variety. That might be your strongest "reason why." That, plus it relieves them of the burden of having to count calories.

Because you are emphasizing the software, this might have more appeal to overweight men than women. Especially because men wouldn't care as much about recipes, would just like a list of what they should eat without having to open a cookbook, don't care as much about ongoing support. It would be interesting to split test that.

There was a long thread about this product last summer that might be of interest to you, if you didn't see it at the time:

http://www.copywritersboard.com/copy...000-month.html

Good luck to you.

Kind Regards,

Anita

Thanks Anita!