I am redesigning and rewriting this because it sucks! Talk to me, I need some solid advice.
See my webpage also that needs critique.
Door County WI Kayak Tours-Kayaking, Lessons, Activities, Lake Michigan, Peninsula
Thanks

"This" does not tell potential reviewers 1) What the objective for the piece is 2) Who the potential customer is (profile) 2) Where this piece is going.

Is it a standalone flyer? What is it and how are you using it.

To start it needs basic redesign and a new layout which respects direct response basics and plain old readability. Everything from the background color to the lack of subheads or headlines lacks visual flow.

Nothing signals to the reader where to start on the page, how to move through the elements, or what to pay attention to. Every element screams for the reader's attention so none get it.

In other words, I wouldn't have kids stuff this under windshield wipers at the Piggly Wiggly parking lot.

A little hint. Make the red I-don't-know what and the web site part of one overall marketing campaign. You have a nice color scheme and fair layout on the website. Borrow ideas from the website so -- if people go from "this" to the website they have some inkling it came from the same company.

Too often the website and ads, print materials and business cards are developed in isolation from each other. Give all your materials a coherent look and feel and messaging strategy.

You might even use "this" to drive potential customers to the website for some form of conversion step -- like checking on availability for a reservation. You want everything you do to multiply the effectiveness of everything else. You only get that with a unified strategy.

The piece is a design nightmare, without a target customer or focussed objective. The website looks okay, but lacks a purpose. You want to tell your whole story, move even scanning readers through it, and end with a call to action.

Reading:

How to Find the “Selling Story” Buried in Your Business There's probably a story there somewhere. "It sucks," while accurate doesn't impart the kind of useful information people need to help you.

How To Ignite Customer Desire With Benefit-Rich Copy

Thanks
I needed a refocus and appreciate the time you took to help me get back on track.

> Is it a standalone flyer? What is it and how are you using it.

It is a 2 sided rack card that I use in two ways.
1)I mail via brochure requests or reservations from my website.
2)It will sit among 50 other rack cards in hotels, lodging, restaurants and hopefully be spotted among many bland tourism rack cards.

I like the "selling story" i will work on implementing that into my web and creating more purpose.

David

I won't get into the design...that's someone else's department.

As John had pointed out, it would be easier to write effective copy if you had a single crowd in mind. Families, thrill seeking teens, thrill seeking young adults, old farts who who want to get one off before dying (just kidding).

My suggestion is to get with a copywriter who would ask the right questions and really pull out the right points.

But then, I know what your answer is. You want to leave it in certain areas where all of the above targets will see it. (If you think they'd give you the room, there's nothing wrong with leaving 3 different brochures focusing on three different groups.)

Quickly, without any gimmicks, I would at least spruce your copy up and make it more exciting. I'm assuming your biggest target is the tourist scene.

I want to be mainly creating cash/check transactions.
Reasons-

1. Visa/MC Suck...I don't want to support them.
2. Better tips for guides when people pay cash
3. I pay a significant fee to Visa/MC.

These are the options I have created so far, one is for a brochure, one is for the webpage.

1. Cash/Check appreciated, Visa/MC accepted.
2. Cash or Check is super, super appreciated. We don't enjoy giving money to Visa and Mastercard, but we are in the service industry and we aim to please, so we do accept them.

Okay, you don't say something trite. Want to show super appreciation, then prove it.

3. Cash/Check saves us overhead, so we pay you instead of the credit card companies with a X% discount. Of course, we still accept Visa/MC at out regular $Y price.

Visa/MC accepted, but we would rather you save 5% by paying cash.
Visa/MC accepted, but we would rather you save than pay them. Cash 5% off.
Visa/MC accepted, Save 5% pay cash!
Visa/MC accepted, Save us a transaction fee, pay cash, save 5%!
Visa/MC=evil, Cash=Good(Save 5%)

I wouldn't do it. If you're not making enough money to pay the visa fees, then raise your prices. Otherwise you come off as a cheapo. Anyone who's that hyper about saving visa fees is trying to run a wholesale tour guide with expenses cut at every corner. Thanks, I'll go with someone I can relax with and have a good time.

Cash is worth it in my business, because the guides usually end up getting tipped in cash and if they pay with credit, they usually don't tip. So i'm looking out for my guides too.

The 5% also is more than the 2-3% I get charged, so it isn't just to offset the fees, it also puts me under the other competition.

ahhhh, you're trying to under the competition. There's your problem.