Hi, I am brand new to this forum and the whole internet marketing gig. I have written an eBook on overocming fear and anxiety and am running two index pages using a split tester. The two pages are quite similar but using 2 different headlines.

I am looking for any and all feedback...the good..the bad...the ugly. Bring it on don't bother being tactful...I can take it...I want to learn... I need to learn

Teach me oh great ones!!!!

Ease Out of Fear - Easily Overcome Fear and Anxiety
Ease Out of Fear - Easily Overcome Fear and Anxiety

Thank-you.

Hi Mark,

I'd make the Page 1 headline more pithy:

Your second headline is much better. However, the real
problem as I see it, is this: Since you are new to marketing
the best thing to do is model success. If you search out
letters in the health field written by top direct response
copywriters (for companies like Agora, HSI, Health
Resources, etc.) and find a letter you can emulate your
results will probably be better. Plus... the whole process
is much easier when modeling a proven letter.

Try it...

Hey Mark,

Just a really quick comment, but I think people may relate to you and your story better with at least a photo of yourself on the site.

Take a look at Welcome to the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety for example, and while I personally think that photo's a bit large, I can see she's a real person and feel a better connection with her than if I just knew her name (it also doesn't hurt that she's easy on the eyes!)

Cheers,

Steve

Quote:

"My Doctor Tried to Hide a Chuckle When I Told Him I Was Determined to Find a Natural Cure For My Chronic Fear and Anxiety...

Your headline, while it's a popular swipe, just isn't going to work. This industry is FULL of this kind of talk. In my 10 years of copywriting, I think I've seen five thousand versions of it, and not once has anyone produced the kind of results that a well planned original can bring.

You have to realize something...your readers are looking for a solution. They're going through site after site, letter after letter. They're reading the same claims over and over again, some made by amateurs, some made by pro's.

• The ONLY time they're going to stop and pay attention to something, is if it looks different from all the rest.
• The ONLY letter that's going to really catch their eye is one that tells their brain that 'this guy has the answers.'\
• The ONLY thing your letter is going to get is the back button to search through hundreds of other similar letters.

You want to make them see the light? Then show them the light. Otherwise, you won't make a dime on this deal!

Do you see what I did in the above statements? I spoke as an authority. I could have put any opinion in there, and it would have sounded like I knew EXACTLY what I was talking about (to someone who wasn't a copywriter). The absolute conviction that I portrayed in the statements gave it the feeling of honesty...and the subtle mention of experience gave it credibility.

THAT's what your letter is missing. Not just in the headline, but throughout the body. Your letter needs a special kick-a$$ command to it that will instantly give the reader a 'Hello, what's this?' reaction.

Think long and hard on each statement. Ask yourself--

"Is this what someone would say if they were trying to help someone, or is it what someone would say if they were trying to sell someone?"

"Is this statement based on ABSOLUTE CONVICTION, or is there the slightest amount of doubt?"

If you want a more thorough analysis of this ad, you can get one through my website (special deal for newsletter subscribers).

The Red White and Blue Copy is rather stirring instead of calm and reassuring. People don't like headlines, though it gets the job done. In your case,
one pre-head,
two headlines,
and three sub-heads....Its a lot. Some sales pages work without any headline at all. Meaning, more is not a good solution. Why not specialize and shoot for a particular anxiety? You are more likely to connect with people who are not even aware they have an "anxiety" problem.

The markets big enough for you to focus an a specific type of fear.

Eric thank-you so much...that is great advice. I will work on your suggestions and then take a look at the thorough citique offer on your site. Have a great week-end

Hi John, I have looked at some of the links you sent...great idea...there are some excellent ideas to work with there. Thank-you for your help and input