Hi All,
I'm still fairly new to this, but I'd love some feedback on some copy I wrote for an eBook geared to headache sufferers. Criticism is appreciated, no need to be gentle cuz I'm new.

Cluster CURE

Thanks!

I just did a quick read-through, but here are my thoughts...

1. Your headline needs a lot of work. There's no benefit, no promise. You have a curiosity factor but that's usually not enough unless your market is already familiar with your product or with you.

2. You've got elements out of order. You start plugging your product way too soon. The offer is not bad. But you need to lead up to it more.

3. You offer no proof. (at least not that I saw.)

4. You're bullets are actually not bad.

5. The layout is clean.

Basically, I think you have a decent 1st draft. But it needs a lot of work.

My 2 cents.

Hope it helps. Good luck.

Thanks for the feedback.

I've been trying to think of a stronger headline. I have a problem walking the tightrope between strong and unbelievable.

What's a better way to start off besides talking about the product? I could use a push with that.

You're right on the proof. Besides the doc testimonial I have, I'm getting more currently.

Thanks again, anything else would be great.

I made some changes based on the feedback...