All points well taken...revised pr coming soon.

Basic formula needs to be covered in your lead... who, what, when, where, why, how...

I don't see the WHY!

Why this site?
Why should anyone care?

Does it solve an existing need/demand?

And... nobody gives a flip whether or not you came up #1 in the search engines. At least not in the media.

You might consider having a media pro put this release together for you (provided this is even a viable business/site idea ... I'm not judging it based on that).

Agree, but it's not who, what, why, etc ....about you.

You have to develop a story, with reader interest. Then you "who, what, why" through the framework of the story you tell. And you are not the story. The fact you want to pike your stuff in no way, shape or form makes this news worthy.

Just like "I" in regular copy is to be replaced with "you," so referring to yourself in the third person is wrong. News people aren't morons. They can tell a transparent scheme for free ad space from a real news release.

Here's what I did. I found a news event: The lifting of the U.S. embargo of Vietnam. Internal experts -- who had testified before congress on the embargo -- fed me the exact details and time of the announcement. My news release went out just before the official announcement of the dropping of the embargo.

I latched onto a news event the press was sure to cover -- which had nothing to do with me -- and then integrated what I was selling with the press coverage. The difference: Find something news worthy first, then riding the press coverage wave.

Rather than "Here's my product. Here's my company. Me. Me. Me." there was a story angle. The first paragraph was about the United States launching a second invasion of Vietnam -- an invasion of capitalism this time.

Quotes -- from people who are not me -- tell the reader about the opportunities and problems. Then, and only then, comes my solution to those problems. When my part of the story comes, it's an integral part of a legitimate story angle. That's what gets you interviews on radio and articles in trade journals and calls from Detroit Free Press journalists.

You have a great potential for human interest stories based on this service. You need to get off the "me, myself, and I" angle and into some customer stories of the service in use. Real people doing real things using your service. That's the story and the headline, with your service more in the background.

Most people think "First the press will give me customers and then..... That's not the way it works." You get yourself newsworthy first, then you get press coverage.

Right now this is worthless as a real press release, it's spam. Worse yet, due to the subject matter and the transparent piking, the reader is far more likely to get the impression of profiteering off the troops. If you think no press is bad press, trying being branded that way by people who buy their ink by the barrel.