Hello everyone

I'm new to this board - just starting to really get my feet wet in the copywriting business. I've learned that, without a doubt, I truly love the work and enjoy helping clients build their business potential.

I've done several good copy pieces for other businesses - but when it comes to my own, I tend to flounder under that persistent drive for near-perfection

So I'd like to ask fellow copywriters to take a glance over one of my business sites and tell me what you think. Does it make you want to learn more? Does it give you some insight into why you should have a website? (rather than the regular designer's stale excuse "because everyone else is doing it" ).

www.ielectrify.com

I would greatly appreciate any and all comments and suggestions.

Hmmm.. is it really that bad?

I am a new member here myself Sherice and not yet an established copywriter, so I don't know how valuable my advice is. But in my opinion the copy on your site seems fine. It's clear and forceful.

My only suggestion would be to add some colour to your site somewhere, maybe some yellow or red. It's an attractive colour of blue right now, but it's a bit cold and looks very monochromatic.

Other than that I think you've done a fine job.

Sherice,

Ditto Laura's comments. It's a great website, but leaves me feeling rather cold. I love blue, but too much can really affect the mood of the site - it has to be balanced with other colours and white space.

I would say that this is particularly true when selling webdesign services - potential clients must aspire to your design and therefore your design capabilities.

Hope this helps,
Jane

Hello

I agree with you both about "too much blue". I very nearly threw in some yellow-orange just for good measure and to give it a bit more variety. What do you think?

Sherice,

Shhhhhh!!!!!!! I'll let you in on a secret - I've just done the design for my own site (although there isn't any content yet - just a load of test data), and I'm quite pleased with it.

I realised early on that some colour theory is required because colours have such an emotional impact on people. I chose blue as my main theme, but I chose a warm-ish blue and balanced it with two shades of orange, white background and mainly black text. The design is fairly straightforward and 2-d, but I rather like it. At the end of the day, I want people to read my words, not get caught up in my design or get confused by it.

I feel it is quite bold and projects confidence. However, I don't want to put the address of it here because I haven't even started to write the copy for it yet, so if you'd like to see it, please send me an email to:
jane.hendry@virgin.net

Hope this helps,

Jane

Gang just to throw a spanner in the works I also checked out the "color thing" and realised the best color for reponse was blue. The worst and most hated color was ... orange

So ... in the spirit of creating something special I decided to create my Orange Site!

Sounds mad? Not really you see I am sick to death of everything looking exactly the same. You know the kind of thing everyone does.

Everyone remembers my site and people love the name. Not saying anyone is doing anything wrong of course but somethiimes it pays to stick your neck out a little.

As a kind of P.S wait till you see our new site early next year... VERY, VERY ORANGE!

Does anyone else have any comments on the copy?

Hi Sherice,

The topic lept more towards graphic design than copy and this is a great pointer since both go hand in hand. I've seen web sites with great copy and very displeasing graphic designs. Usually, there has to be synergy between what you sell and what you say.

I have a tip just in case it might help. Compare Michel Fortin's copy on his web site www.michelfortin.com, see how he raises a few questions right at the top:

Need compelling web copy? Sales letter not productive?
Direct mail conversion rate low? Give it a "booster shot!"

Personally when I read:

For one, I get a very personal feeling which by the way I wouldn't want to have unless I trust your company or service. It's too informal to start off with, though it does ask a few important questions. Second, why not talk to the prospect? In real life, would we say to them, "you'll want to pay close attention to what I'm about to share with you." I'd be rather open and straight forward, making my point.

Using Michel's guidelines and style, this may look catchy:

Need more customers? Stagnant sales? Looking for that powerful revenue building model? (Follow these kind of questions with an action word or sentence.)

Hope that's help.

Regards,