Hi everyone, I've posted here a few times before about my site. But I never could get it to convert very well. I think it was actually a bit TOO "salesy" and this turned people off...so I've toned it down.

What I've done is simplified the copy and I get right to the point of what my product is about.

What do you like and won't do you think needs improved?

Beat chronic anxiety and panic attacks!

Thank you for taking time out to review the copy, I appreciate it!

Okay, just a quick thing - stop yelling - ie. with the exclamation marks - people struggling with anxiety don't want to be yelled at...well, actually no one wants to be yelled at...

you are selling an anti anxiety product so tone the copy down and be more relaxed...

just my overall impression without spending much time...

Dayne

Didn't do an in depth analysis...but just quickly:

Your USP seems to be that you are going to show anxiety sufferers how to tap into an inner resource that will help them overcome their anxiety for good.

You might explore selling that idea up in the headline somewhere.

You also mention further in the text that, due to social anxiety, your marriage fell apart and you couldn't drive on the highway. Talking about this earlier on, or providing similar details that resonate with this audience, might be more effective at the beginning of the copy

Looking at all the CD's and manuals, this recovery process looks to be a hell of a lot of work. I wouldn't be surprised if your prospect has that exact thought.

Plus it's costly at $159. Even with the 3-month payment option, the low conversion percentage could indicate that your prospects don't equate the program being a good value.

If it were me I'd test splitting the course up into 10 components and doing a continuity thing at $19.95 a component-- offering the first one for say just the cost of shipping-- $4.95.

Ok, I've toned down the copy and made a few modifications. I have tried to not make it not to "in your face", that is not my intention.

I think with the sales price, I may change it to "Four Easy Monthly Payments of only $39.95".
I would think this would make it much more appealing for the price and easier for people. I will just have to test that.

Any other likes or dislikes? I've really put a lot into the product and the site itself, so anything you can recommend I'm up for.

Thanks again!

There's never a reason to start that way. "I'm going to..." is wasted type. Besides, in this case, you don't get right to the point. The point is that your product will help them, and you want them to buy it.

Thanks Eric, I removed that line. It was a bit aggressive in tone to start things off, thanks for suggestion.

I've also implemented a one time payment option of $159 and a four monthly payment option of $39.95. This way they will have two payment options to choose from (both ends of the payment spectrum). I will leave this for a while to test.

I was also thinking of doing a FREE TRIAL for the cost of shipping ($14.95) where they could try it for up to 30 days, and then at that point, if they are satisfied and do not return it, they will be automatically billed $39.95 for 4 months. I may keep this option open also.

Does the rest of my copy, look and feel seem ok to you?

Thanks to everyone who has chimed in on this, I really appreciate it!

Dayne,
Get rid of the Perpetua fonts.

This was a major distraction for me... lost interest within two minutes... too hard for me to read.

Yes, I was wondering about that font. I think that may be an issue. I will change that right now. Thanks.

UPDATE: I fixed the font and now use Georgia, Tahoma and Arial. It is MUCH easier on the eyes now.

I'm pretty happy with the sales copy at this point...BUT of course, the real test will be what the readers think/do.

I'd be nervous showing a photo of a brand name pharmaceutical and basically saying it doesn't work, I don't think the photo adds much and could set you up for some legal questions (I'm not a lawyer, just my thoughts).

I like the layout though, may I ask what you used as a template? It seems to be a modified blog template?