I am trying to write a short web introduction to our website. I am having a difficult time trying to come up with unique text that does not sound like the million other web companies out there.. Please review and let me know any feedback for improvement:

For 10 years we have built a web design and website hosting business focused on exceeding client expectations. In an industry rife with client turnover, many of our clients have been with us since we started. We believe the key to this success is offering you an unwavering, consistent standard in quality customer service.

If you value commitment, honesty and uncompromising integrity, then we can offer you the best there is in web, email and database services.

What you want to do is develop a Unique Selling Proposition. This text does not put forth a USP, it is indeed like a million others.

The problem is you're trying to be everything to everybody. In an effort to remedy this, I have set out a formula in a recent article I posted here USP 911: The Intensive Care Clinic for USPs

In the formula, we need to 1) Survey the competition. 2) Discover the broken promises of competitors 3) Formulate a position and policy which makes good on those broken promises.

Here is commentary on web development from a contest:

That's not from a luddite or uninformed outsider it's from A List Apart founder and Web Developer icon Zeldman. Stunning. And totally and utterly unheeded among a million monkey-see monkey-do web developers.

The problems indicating a trail of broken promises is legion:

...Most developers are in the web site construction business. Very, very few actually sit down and think through the business strategy and basic purpose for a website.

...Web developers aren't innovative. Most are either Template Monster affiliates .....and the rest should stop kidding themselves they're not. The industry is one step away from a kid figuring out, with all the Web 2.0 element generators out there, you can put together a mashup which develops everything from generic stock photography to automatic layout -- including boilerplate "...we exceed customer expectations" text.

...Web developers don't brand. Branding isn't about doing an identical web 2.0 logo, it's about how the invoice is designed and how the phone is answered. If you can't develop a USP, it is fallacious to think this week's PhotoShop fad is a business identity.

In short, there is a wealth of opportunity for differentiation in web development, you just have to look around.


Related:

A List Apart Articles: Never Get Involved in a Land War in Asia (or Build a Website for No Reason) I have yet to meet a web development agency who acted as though they understood this article. It's about strategy. And most web developers don't know the difference between a strategy and a tactic, a feature or a benefit -- but feel completely qualified to put up a businesses web presence.

What Would Direct Response Graphic Design Be like? From what I can tell, the position of Direct Response Web Developer is currently vacant. I have yet to see a really good advertorial layout design or even many decent product and service infographics.

Instead we have a race to the bottom with stock photography cliches and featuring: Everywere Girl. There is absolutely zero comprehension about the business branding implications until you compare with the Dove "Real Beauty" campaign and Wendy the Snapple Lady.

A List Apart: Articles: Calling All Designers: Learn to Write! Part of the less than credible claim to business web development is the attitude toward text content. A List Apart "for people who build web sites" has this message for you: Text Is Interface.

Most of these people should have a copywriter on retainer simply so the money being charged serves as a constant reminder the next time "we don't do copy ...we build business oriented websites tho meet or exceed customer expectations" tumbles out of the mouth.

Growing a Business Website: Fix the Basics First Usability, information design, IA and UX are still alien ideas for web developers. They can blithely parrot of few buzzwords, but can't explain what Fitts law is -- or what the implication is for CSS coded sites. Consequently, the Template Monster quip may be charitable.

How to Find the “Selling Story” Buried in Your Business If you can't get your own story, don't for an instant think you can find the story buried in the client's business and brand them. And for the record: A logo is not a brand.

John,

Thanks for the feedback, this is awesome and way beyond what I was expecting.

I think part of the problem may be developers simply not knowing where to look or even aware that developers should be looking. As we work more and more with ad agencies I am realizing it is not all about how to build a website and that the website is just part of a much bigger picture to produce truly successful results for the client.

Part of the reason I joined this board is so that I can learn basic tips, technique and vocabulary that will help when working on a project with copywriters, agencies etc. I don't expect to become a guru in this regards, but it certainly cannot help to have some exposure to what those who focus on other elements of a project are bringing to the table..win-win situation in my opinion and one any developer should investigate if they want to be at the top of their game...thanks again for the information!

For starters, I'd suggest reading the now free, Make Your Site Sell Make Your Site SELL! 2002 by Ken Evoy.

Like John said, a good USP is needed, and you also need to learn to write more directly to your clients in terms of the benefits they'll receive from doing business with you. In other words, use "we" less and "you" a lot more when you're writing.

While your website is marketing to the masses, it's only being read by one person at a time, so the more directly you can speak to them the better.