Hey guys, what do I need to add to this copy to convey just how good our product is...

Affiliate Elite | Affiliate Marketing Software

Does anything seem out of place etc?

Advice?

Thanks

Brad

Hi Brad,

there's good news and bad news.

The good news is your copy flows.

The bad news is - I spent the usual amount of time I would spend on a site
and have no clue as to what your product does.

First turn off - the opening picture of you with partner. Sorry. Does she have something to do with the software?

Second - give me a caption under each video. Let me know what I'll be seeing. I wasn't tempted to watch a single one.

Your testimonials were good but the site isn't quite there.

Almost but not quite.

Hope you'll revise it.

Peace.

Harlan

PS. I own a ton of your products so I'm hoping you'll clear this up.

Glad you pointed out that you didn't know what the software does either Dr. K.

I thought it was just me...

I also don't like having to click through in order to see the pricing.

It's this new thing I've noticed. Hide the price.

I assume it's coming from Cialdini's commitment concepts.

Peace.

I didn't color parts of the headline in red and highlight parts in yellow and underline other parts 'cause I do have to look at myself in the mirror every morning.

Hi, thanks for the comments.

Question: you guys mentioned you don't know what the product does... which makes it obvious to me that it's too boring for you to read it.

There are MANY videos. Each video has bullet points explaining exactly what the software does. And I mean EXACTLY...

So, with that said, be honest... Did you actually read the whole copy or was it too boring to finish?

Brad

Brad,
No offense, my friend, but there is waaaay to much information about you in the beginning of the copy... this is where I fell asleep.

Heck, anyone and everyone already knows who you are... I say get past this and give me information of the product and what it will do for me... not at the middle or end of the copy, but right from the beginning!

If you want to attach this product to your name, all you gotta do is put your name in the header "Brad Callen's Affiliate Elite Marketing Software".

I do like Ray's Videos... (he alway does a great job with those), but videos alone won't sell a bean in Borneo.

Too much "Me", "Myself", and "My Team" in this one.

But --- WHAT ABOUT ME? How will this help my bottom line?

There - I said it! (I'm sure glad you've got a strong stomach for criticism).

Luv ya' Brad... Kudos and I wish you and your family the best for 2008.

Brad,

I really think interjecting videos in the middle of a sales letter is detrimental to sales. It would be like Nightingale Conant sending me a sales letter and a DVD and at points in the sales letter I have to view the DVD to follow what's going on. I know everyone is trying to introduce the latest in web marketing capability in all their sales pieces, but you can't get carried away with this stuff. If it interrupts the "story" you are trying to tell me then it doesn't belong in the sales letter. The videos should be on the site somewhere IF I would want to view them... but not in the middle of the sales letter. If your concept is so complicated that it can not be described in simple words then rework the concept.

Excellent point Michael.

After I got bored with the opening line copy, I high-tailed it over to the first video, then the next and next... skipping completely over the copy in the process.

The vids are well done, but noticed they were too much of a "feature" presentation and showed no real benefit (at least no benefits without me having to figure out what these benefits are and what they mean to me).

I'm sure the benefits are interlaced in the copy somewhere, but never saw them due to the opeining "Hey I'm Brad Fallon" and the "check out my features" videos.

Just another two cents for ya, Brad... hey you're getting rich by the minute here.

Hey Brad, PM me with your number and I'll give you a walk through of what you should do...

Harlan