Hi,

I recently bought one sale letter for my amazon report from a copywriter. My sale letter only converts 1/1000 visits.

Can someone give me advice or a quick feedback on my sale letter? http://www.hiddenreports.com/amazon/index.htm

My traffic is coming from Google Adwords. I tried many keywords with different strategies to get a better targeted traffic. Any ideas on what I could do to convert higher?

Thank you

Patrick.

1. The claims are not believable

2. Even if someone was greedy enough to hope that the claims were true, they'd have to wonder at the ethics. Most people understand that "there ain't no such thing as a free lunch".

3. One of the testimonials comes from someone with the same surname as you and with a similarly shaky grasp of the english language. Allan Jack from NY (where presumably english is the first language) uses a similar turn of phrase - strange. Bottom line - it sounds like you wrote it (whether you did or didn't).

The other copy experts here can comment on the copy itself, although I thought it was a bit over-cooked. More importantly, for me, is the whole concept - it just sounds like nonsense. Even if it's true (for now), I'd be concerned about the legality of what you're doing. And even if it's totally legal, I'd be concerned about the fact that Amazon can afford much smarter lawyers than you, and it seems reasonable to suppose that they won't be exactly happy about it when they find out.

Just my two cents - bon nuit,

Jane

Thank you for your comment. It will help me.

Hi again,

I removed all the testimonials for now.
I need a critique on the sale letter. Someone else can help me?

Thank you.

Patrick,

I'm sorry, but this whole offer is not credible. I don't think you have the faintest idea what you are talking about in this letter.

For instance, the letter says, "After you get your hands on the course, feel free to call them up and ask if this lesser-known technique is OK with them."

I challenge you to find Amazon.com's phone number anywhere on its web site. This is a carefully guarded "state secret." They do have phones, of course, but the phone numbers are passed around by word of mouth by publishers who deal with them regularly and are not otherwise available.

There was someone who once did a research study offering a $5 bill for free. Because there was no credible explanation for why these people were giving away $5 bills, almost no one took them up on the offer. I'm sorry that I can't remember exactly where I read this - maybe it's a Dan Kennedy story.

Bottom line - *IF* your technique is 100% legal and kosher, you are not convincing that it is above board. You need to provide some third-party evidence about this.

I am also wondering why you would want to do business with people who want something for nothing. These are the very folks who are most likely to want to cheat YOU.

Marcia Yudkin

Hello Patrick:

I personally don't have any problem with the hype and sensationalist tone of your salesletter.

Hype and sensationalism sells products. Always have, always will. That's why those two ingredients are so widely used in marketing.

The reason your salesletter is converting only 1 in 1000 visitors is because you're making wildly outrageous claims without offering up any convincing proof. Nowadays, you can literally sell absolute garbage, as long as you can convincingly prove any claims that you make about that garbage!

It's also very disturbing that you removed your testimonials so quickly after Jane criticized them. That's a strong indication that your testimonials were bogus and made up to begin with. Using fake testimonials is illegal in-and-of-itself!

If you have to fabricate testimonials, that means there's a serious problem with your offer to begin with.

In a nutshell, it really doesn't matter how much hype and sensationalism you use in your salesletter. Nor does your salesletter have to be a copywriting masterpiece.

If you can convincingly prove your claims, you'll improve your conversion ratio. It's as simple as that!

Hi, I removed the testimonials because it was french teatimonials translated in english. I have sent many free reports to obtain testimonials from other persons.

thank you for your post.