Please critique once more... Thanks for all the responses. I got some great advice and I really appreciate it.

How to Make Work Fun

Thanks,
Brendan

The questionmark in your headline confuses and infuriates me.

On the headline again... It's all a bit too general.

And the pop over covers the headline, you have to close it to read.

I just skimmed the copy and I'll say again... it's all too general. I'm not really sure who this is for. E.g. "Improving Your Skills" -- what skills?

You're getting into the features too quickly.

I'd expand on the opening lead and try to draw out their emotions a bit more.

I'd strongly suggest you take a look at how a REAL sales letter is written before you actually ask for a critique.

Because it needs alot of re-working

An example would be your headline.

It is extremely weak and doesn't intrigue the reader to read on.

PS: BTW your bullets will make John Carlton vomit blood

I'm not convinced the copywriter has established a clear level of credibility as an expert.

There are many resources out there when it comes to increasing personal productivity, why should I choose this product as opposed to say the "4 Hour Work Week?"

There you go. I suggest you find some successful sales letters, and write them out longhand. If you don't at least do this, I doubt you'll ever have a satisfactory conversion rate.

Gabriel