Ok so I have been working a little here and there on my copy for A Console Gamers Little Black Book Of Dirty Secrets. I know that some have said to change the title but I now get about 30 hits a day from people searching for it.

Anyway back to the topic at hand. For the last few days my main sales page has been generating about a 1% conversion and my bonus page for YouTube users has had converted at about 15%. Last night I went and changed the headline from that junk I had to something I thought was a whole lot better.

Selling via YouTube has really gave me some feedback and a few testimonials to boot. And I was just thinking I knew what my market wanted. The only other change I really made is making my book look more legal and legit. But I would hate to say that it effected my sales in such a way.

Is my video really that bad? Should I take it off and make something new?

Thanks
Terry Brazil
Untitled Document
A Console Gamers Little Black Book Of Dirty Secrets

Terry, the part (in the beginning) where you say "I wouldn't be selling this to you" seems too blunt. Why not say something more subtle like "if I didn't think this would work I wouldn't put this on YouTube".

Also, I'm wondering if using the background is legal. Your using someone else's logo on your site without their permission. Something I would definitely research before doing this.

Also, you use the words, "Buyer Testimonials"... I would get rid of blatant words like "selling" and "buy"...

People don't want to be sold.

And using the word "buy" is obviously what your visitors are telling you as well... "bye, bye!"

By this are you refering to the other peoples videos? What logo are you refering to? Thanks for your response. I am looking to do alot of video marketing in the future.

EDIT: Sorry about that I no more than walked away and thought you are probably talking about my copy. I never really thought of the youtube thing and actually I got it off google from someone elses page. I will however change it right away. Thanks for the heads up.

BTW at the last minute things looked up and my conversions for the day got back up to 10.5% with the video. Still not really what I was looking for since it didnt go up.

I would slash out everything in your video before you say
"People like me have been backing up console games since PlayStation 1."

That's the first thing you say that's of any real interest to your prospect.

A lot of what you say in your opening could be killing sales.

"fly by nighters" "increase my refunds"

You have to be very careful about how you use negatives in copy.

Instead of talking about fly by nighters establish your rock solid credibility and honesty.

When you talk about "if your product is garbage it will increase your refunds" what is your prospect really thinking?

HE'S GETTING REFUNDS! THIS PRODUCT MUST BE CRAP!

Instead of talking about refunds talk about your rock solid 12 month money back guarantee.

But you should leave those things to the end of the video.

At the start of the video grab attention and give content.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh
FREE: How Online Video Can Multiply The Impact Of Your Sales Message
Video Marketing Online: How To Crush A Business
FREE: Online Video On Your Sales Letters

Thanks for your advice. I will have to keep that all in mind when I redo the video for my site launch. I went over some of your articles. I have to say I want to redo the whole thing now. Thanks