Hi,

I’m selling an original downloadable software program and would really need some advice regarding my sales copy.
Here’s my sales letter.

Please tell me how to improve it.

I thank you in advance,
Tina

Looks okay, has all the basics. You tell what the product is without giving anything away.

You might want to test explaining who these "small group of experts from various fields" are.

If this basically works the next step would be to see if you can boost response with niches. It's okay for what it is: a broad general appeal. The flaw would be if it is too broad, trying to be everything to just about everybody.

Hi Tina,

Your lead copy isn't bad but I would reword it to this:

HEADLINE:

How to Quickly and Easily Re-program Your Thinking Patterns and Beliefs!

SUBHEAD:

Become the person you want to be - achieve all your goals - AND live the life you want!

-- Rachel

You completely lost me at the bullet points right at the top.

Why? Because I don't want to lose weight.

But, this begs a bigger question:

What does your market want?

If you can answer that, then you'll know how to improve your sales.

Selling is all about finding a group of people with a common desire, and then fulfilling that desire. The more specific, passionate, and driving that desire is, the easier it will be for you to sell to them.

Who is your market?

What do they want? How badly? How desperately? How emotionally?

You need to make it clear WHO this product is for, and why it is for them.

Hi,

Thank you for reviewing my sales page. John_S and boblicity, I was thinking the same thing that you're suggesting. It's true, the letter is not targeted enough.

Do you think I should write a complete new letter for each target group (one for people who want to loose weight, another for those who would like to stop smoking...)?

I can think of at least 15 different target groups, so this sounds like a lot of work. Do you have any other idea how to make my offer more targeted?

Thanks again,
Tina