Hi Franck,

Just took a look. Excellent headlline and subhead. But ... the font you're using for the headline makes my eyes strain. I would use Arial or Verdana.

Now for my critique. I would elminiate your first 2 paragraphs and start your sales letter off with:

Getting A Google Top 10 Position Was So Easy That I Couldn't Believe It Myself! Here's The PROOF ...

Why? Because as an interested prospect, I don't really care how you did it. All I want to know is how I can do it. If you lead with the above subhead, it will give juice to your whole letter.

For your second subhead, I would write:

Copy my techniques and get into Google's Top 10!

Hope this helps,

-- Rachel

P.S. I noticed you have a 56 day guarantee. While I'm sure you've been told or read that being specifc is a good thing, I wouldn't do it here. Offer a 90 day guarantee.

Thank you very much Rachel.

These are excellent suggestion, Plus I really have a problem with the second subhead.

I will work on this ASAP.

As for the 56 days guarantee, it's not from me... I follow clickbank guidelines...

Thanks again.
Franck.

Hi Frank,

Here are a few suggestions in my new 3 minute video critique,

3 Minute Critique By Edward Santosh, the Copywriter with a weird accent.

Please click on your name to see your critique,

-Edward Santosh

Thank you Edward, it was awesome (more than 3 mn by the way... Overdelivering is always good).

I already moved the proof up. You and others suggested me to do so.

As for the inclusion in the title, I did that in the opening.

I'll try to add the 1347,75. I'll test this.

Thank you for your insight, Edwards.

Franck.

Franck,

pretty interesting site, its not bad, but i think the copy needs more punch to it. the first half is good enough but the rest left me hanging.

I was into it, reading it and saying yeah this is pretty cool I'm interested in finding out more...

side note, I think the layout/colors/fonts don't work well with the site...

but i think the big problem is the PROOF.... in your testimonials... you have no real proof other than your own results (which was great proof)... so that made me a bit skeptical you can teach this to someone else.

the testimonials showed no one else getting similar or any results.

show me it can work for "me" and you'll get sales.

Good, the site is actually selling very well... Shish, I do have an "image proof" on my hard drive from the first testimonial! (it is someone who applied some of my techniques).

It is a screenshot of his Google Analytics. go and see under Romico's testimonial, and tell me what you think

I will add it today.

Plus I have many other testimonials, I am going to add t them as well.

As for the fact that I can teach the system to someone else, it's because I just released it!

Thank you for your nice comment!

Note: Since you came late, you didn't see the original salesletter... It has be tweaked over and over.

Franck Silvestre
The Body Guard Marketer!

good stuff. its a process...

very well is all relative and means different things to different people. 1% might be very well to you, but I'd consider it very low.

depends on the traffic and how presold they are.

i understand you just released it... you should get some people to try it out and report THEIR results.

so i think you need to get a bunch of people to get results FIRST, then maybe launch it with a campaign based on their results.

Also whats DIFFERENT about your product/tactics than the other 9,845,398 seo products on the market?

I thats something all along the way you should be mentioning...

but the testimonials are very weak... I'd work on them some more and look at some other sites that sell well and see how they have their testimonials.

Hi Dave,

Thank you for your awesome comment. I've just made a pre-launch offer, and it coverted at more than 7%... I sold it for cheaper than $47...

Anyway, I just uploaded the file that I had on my hard drive.

Can you have a look at Romico's testimonial (the first one). He made a blog post about his results using my system, with a Google Analytics screenshot.

I will need to add more like this.

I may even offer people to train them, then I'll post the results.

As for my USP, it is guaranted and simple (I don't even know how to make a 301 redirect, yet I rank on first pages at will).

Let me know how I can improve it.

Thanks again for your awesome critique!