Hi

Please critique my sales letter. It is for an ebook about World of Warcraft.
You can find it at:

Wow Cheat Code : Your Ultimate Guide to all Cheats, Hacks, Exploits in Wow

Thanks for all your feedback.

/piotr

It is a great swipe of a classic and it is done well. I think it's wonderful.

Couple things...you may want to increase the size of the "eyebrow" (the pre-headline). And you may want to consider a subhead after the headline. I would also take another look at the headline itself. I don't know what "level up in the fast lane" means, for instance.

Also, I'd put a box around the guarantee.

I would also sell the ongoing aspect of your service a lot more. "You are not just getting an ebook..." you say, but it comes across as an after-thought. Why not sell the ongoing aspect of your deal first and foremost to build value in the whole thing?

- you get valuable ongoing tips and techniques bla bla

- you get this ebook worth $79

- you get this and that

yours to try out completely free unless you are entirely delighted

Also you could consider selling this a trial...change the wording but it would be the same effect as what you have. "YES! I want to be king of my guild! Let me TRY OUT this wonderful service, and if I am not entirely delighted I just have to say the word through a simple email and I will get ALL my money back and KEEP the ebook as my gift" or something like that.

Thanks a lot Richard for your feedback.
I will use your advice.

/piotr

Hi Piotr,

Your headline needs work. Much too wordy. And I'm not getting the main benefit which is your ebook makes it easier for me to play this game.

Dude that thing looks WAY better!!

much better. the headline color changes are distracting to me...