Hi guys, I was recommended to come to this forums by a prominent copywriter and he said nothing but praises about the people here.

I recently launched a new product where the niche is World of Warcraft.

So far my conversion rate for the sales copy I randomly wrote myself has been below 1%.

I try to read alot to understand and be better at copy writing but maybe I have included to many things from different sources?

It seems to be like the sales copy can definitely be better and will have a positive effect on the conversion. I just feel so helpless that I do not know what to do with it!

Help me please! The page is at Wow Cheat Code : Your Ultimate Guide to all Cheats, Hacks, Exploits in Wow

Hello there,

Your headline needs work. If you change what you have now to "Arm Yourself With The Most Explosive Cheat Guide To Warcraft In the Market!” you'll have improved it.

I would use this as a subhead:

Gain INSTANT access to revealing new cheats and exploits ... Guaranteed to keep you entertained for months to come!

-- Rachel

As far as the beginning goes I would try and find out what problems people have that people would like to buy this. I know my main concern with these type of games is that it takes FOREVER to get ANYWHERE with the game. And, I don't have the breath to waste on leveling my character and all that just to enjoy the game more (that's why i used bots in WOW).

So it's not wanting to know the cheats it's what the cheats would do for them. "it's not the drill it's the hole"

Rachel Irwin : Wow that truly did sound better! I am going to change it as soon as I get home from work :P

ruffneck119: Hmm I think I wrote a line or two saying that the cheats will help you get ahead of people to some extent. Probably I should stress and elaborate more?

Yes because that is the main reason you would want cheats right? Or is there another reason?

I mean imagine the headline: "Gain 25 levels 1000% faster guaranteed!"

Just use something specific and use one of the main reasons people would need your product and you should be fine.

I think this would be a very good product if you promote it to the right people because I know for sure most beginners don't want to deal with months of leveling a character. But, you will come across the super nerds that are mad that there are still cheats LOL!!

A small google adword test would be very helpful or use forums to promote your product. Also depending what is out there ebay is certainly an option because I know they sell WOW currency on there and doing this would make more sense. "Learn how to make 1,000,000 in wow in 3 days!!"

I hope my babble helps.

This will help you!!

http://www.copywritersboard.com/crit...line-test.html

Wow nice! thanks for the link.

I guess I should try to offer them a big promise which will entice them to read more or buy.

But besides my headline, how about the rest of the copy?

Up untill “Cheats and Exploits are there to make your life easier. So Why Are You Still Doing Things The Hard Way!” it is kind of boring.

Maybe start off by asking questions to the reader or tell your tale in the beginning. Now follow with the results (for you or say a friend) to keep pulling people in to your copy but DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PRODUCT YET. Now ask if they would like such and such results then lead them into what you are going to offer with nothing about the price until the end (you have to emphasize more about not getting in trouble). At the VERY end you have it right with the scarcity thing but I think it needs to be a stronger reason.

Does that sound right everyone? That's how I would formulate this one.

You definitely have a good product here dude and your copy is almost there.

PS: Copy is only too long if it is boring or if you have someone reading it that is not at all interested in your product.

Hi

1) mabye you shouldnt use word "cheat" because
when someone is cheating he can be punish for that.

In wow that means loose your account or character.

I think you should say up front that there is no option to be banned and so on

2 Also I think that mabye people dont want to cheat
they want faster way or special program/path
but lots of them just dont want think about themselfes as cheater.

cheater is not positive word

Try to use another words, "special programs", "special paths" "little known secrets"

I think you should avoid word "cheat"

3 If I were You I would try to put story from the wall street journal in your copy.

You know how to swipe?

here is a link to ad
"The Famous Wall Street Journal Advertisement"

Read the ad. You can easly apply that story to your copy. Just change few things and done. perfect story for your ebook. I think

/Piotr

Piotr,
I'm sure the word gets a bit lost in translation, but "cheats" is a common word used by most young gamers these days.

A couple of years ago I found my youngest son looking for "game cheats" on the Internet. I spent the next thirty minutes lecturing him on why he shouldn't "cheat" his way through life.

Boy was I in for a surprise...

My "highly-intelligent" (know it all) and articulate older son overheard the rant and explained that cheating was now considered "normal" in today's society and that cheating was OK (at least in the gaming market).

Probably something they learned from our great public school system... hey, they use calculators in class now.

When I was in school, if we were caught with a calculator to do simple math, we would have faced heavy consequences. Now it is not only encouraged, but is put on the school's list of things to purchase before attending the next grade.

Makes me wonder if this is just another attempt at saving our trees by cutting down on good old fashioned pencils.

Man, am I getting old or what? I'm starting to sound like my father. Sheesh!