Hey Guys,

I'd like a little feedback on this new
website I launched recently. It's pulling
between 6% and 7%... but... I'd like to
know what some of you think abou it
from a copywriting stand point.

The website is at... www.DiseaseFreeLiving.com

Thanks.

John

(Hi John, nice to see you in the forums! Hopefully that dialup connection is not slowing you down, lol).

By the way folks, John is primarily an offline copywriter ... and a damn fine one. (I know, I've hired him!)

Hi John,

I've been interested in alternative health for a long time and I'm no fan of allopathic medicine - therefore I might very well be in your target market.

Here are my thoughts for what they're worth:

1) Man hasn't been evolved for millions of years as far as I know. Last I heard, the earliest traces of man date back 100,000 years to a beach in South Africa. Therefore the statement "our bodies stopped producing millions of years ago" doesn't wash with me, as it goes against all received wisdom. And, as you don't bother to explain it, it just isn't credible. What, exactly, are you talking about? Something our orangutang forbears produced?

2) Infectious disease is not a major issue in the consciousness of my culture, and it certainly doesn't account for most deaths. Most deaths are caused by degenerative disease (heart disease, cancer, osteoporosis, alzheimers etc). Therefore, protection from infectious disease seems fairly low on the agenda. Yes - it would be nice not to get colds and coughs, but most people don't equate that to an early death, even if there is a link.

3) Parasites might be a contributor to the onset of degenerative diseases, or a complicating factor. However, what you're talking about says nothing about parasites, and frankly, in my experience, parasites are much more of a problem than viruses or bacteria.

4) Assuming that bacteria and viruses do make a major difference in longevity and quality of life, I think you need to prove that early on.

I think I read 20-25% of it before I decided to move on. I am certainly not arguing against whatever your "miracle cure" is, but for me, dealing with infectious disease isn't usually a major issue. And I don't equate it to a long life, as it is not usually infectious disease that kills people (except perhaps in the latter stages of their pre-existing conditions).

As it happens, I have recently had the "lurgy" - the one that's supposed to last a month OR need antibiotics. My prescription for myself was hot toddys, plenty of aspirin, cough medicine, echinacea, aloe juice, lemon juice and latterly, juicing of both vegetables and fruits. Obviously I'm intrigued as to what your "medicine" is, but personally, I find it hard to believe that it's anything beyond what I already know.

Bottom line - it's not clear from the outset if this potion will work also on degenerative disease - the copy seems more focussed towards infectious disease which, in my world, isn't really a major issue. Also, some statements get the "yeah, right" response from me, especially when they seem to be factually and gratuitously incorrect.

HTH,
Jane

Hi John,

And thank you for sharing your copy.

Now I'm a professional health writer and copy writer so I find the copy fascinating.

I can tell you that as soon as you mention Linus Pauling most people know you're talking about vitamin C.

In fact many people erroneously believe Pauling won a couple of Nobel prizes for his excellent research into vitamin C.
The Nobel prizes were for other work.

In response to Jane the copy is accurate. Nearly every other animal in the animal kingdom produces vitamin C except humans - we lack a gene - probably because at some point in our evolution we were eating huge quantities of fruits high in vitamin C.

Taking several daily doses of vitamin C (it has a half life of 3 to 4 hours) is a genuine key to excellent health.

Also viruses are one of the greatest threats to humanity.
We have no way to control a fast spreading airborne respiratory virus and all it takes is a killer like the Ebola virus to mutate and it could potentially kill tens of millions of people (world health organization estimates).

I also have to say one of the most effective ways of avoiding flus and colds is to practice good hygiene - wash your hands.
Over ninety percent of viruses enter your body through contact between your fingernails and the mucus membranes of your eyes and nose.

You can read a free article "Viruses Hitchhike" and get a completely FREE report "Beat Colds and Influenza Now!" (not $29 and yes it does include how to take vitamin C) at http://www.geocities.com/healtheaudio3

But Jane's statement is a wonderful insight into dealing with your prospects.

They already have some knowledge and it's usually half right.

You need to overcome this barrier by breaking down some of their beliefs or bridging from the beliefs they already have to the possibility your "new" therapy might work.

The claims may be a little too much for the health field and certainly would push the bounds of legality - wording is very important if you don't want a whole pile of regulatory authorties descending on you.


Now my opinions about the copy for what they're worth:

"Friend, this very important information is for YOU!"
Too weak for an opener. You need to attract your niche customers eg.

"Sick to death of Colds and Flus?"



"The Amazing Alternative Medicine
Secret "

This headline reads a little long. Just try reading it out loud. The words 'alternative medicine' are probably superfluous anyway because they're in the next paragraph.
Just cutting them should help it read better.


"What the true cause of infectious disease is and what to do about it"

The CAUSE of infectious disease is an infection from bacteria or virus.
The reason it spreads without being checked is more the wording you're probably looking for here.

I know. Health copy is a pain in the backside sometimes.


"Why cholesterol and clogged arteries are not the cause... but only the
symptoms... of heart problems... and what the real cause is!"

The FDA would have a field day with this statement.
You're really going out on a limb here and it shows.

I actually agree that vitamin C could reduce your development of heart disease (by reducing the development of lesions and possibly inflammation) but heart disease and its causes are multifactoral.

A very high percentage of fatal heart attacks are caused by electrical chaos in the heart causing sudden heart stoppage.

This is mainly caused by an overproduction of type II eicosanoids.

You could say
"How this little known therapy can reduce your chance of heart disease."
Or something similar.


"Another myth (about kidney stone formation)... popularized by "the
Establishment" misinformation campaigns... blown out of the water!"

Yes Vitamin C is very unlikely to cause kidney stones in fact according to one study your risk goes down if you take more vitamin C.

(If you would like an article I wrote on vitamin C as a free bonus report I'll happily send it to you.)



"You Can Live
Well Into The 100's!"

While I agree that large doses of vitamin C should help you live longer it's unlikely you'll live into your hundreds just by taking it.
Pauling lived into his 90's and died of cancer - fantastic result - but he didn't make a hundred and vitamin C or any supplement alone will not do this for you.

More important your prospects know it won't.


In your offer.

One of the simplest ways to increase percieved value online is to add a whole pile of free reports, downloads etc that exceed the price you're asking many times.

If you ask nicely I could even offer you a few of these as long as you don't ask me to endorse the book. Generally speaking I don't endorse ANYTHING. But my work is cutting edge and generally percieved as highly credible.


I hope you find my comments useful.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh (AMWA)

Hi Andrew,

Thanks for the additional clarity. And I think what you said about people like me is probably correct, and I would be in the target market. The premise I'm working on here is that people interested in "alternative" health, would probably think as you describe - we have enough knowledge to query what someone claims, but we aren't experts. Any claims will be cross-checked against our existing body of knowledge, so it helps is they appear to tally.

I didn't know that animals produce Vitamin C, whilst we have to ingest it. But obviously when I "cross checked" the "millions of years" statement against my own (admittedly limited) knowledge of evolution, it didn't stand up because it wasn't explained that the writer was referring to us before be became humans.

And yes, clearly certain types of infectious diseases are a concern. I suppose I have grown up in an era and location where you were highly unlikely to die of one - you are far more likely to die in an accident in your home, on the roads or of degenerative disease. So the question becomes:
- can "the potion" protect me from ebola virus, MRSA or chicken flu? Or, in other words, can anyone's immune system withstand attack from such pathogens if they come into direct contact with it
- does the target market see such diseases as being a direct threat to them and their health? In other words, is attack from a fatal pathogen one of the problems they want to solve?

If it turns out that it's unreasonable to suggest that any potion can protect one against those kinds of diseases, and if it turns out that this is not a problem that people are terribly interested in solving, then maybe a different "hook" is required.

I also have the notion that your health depends on many factors, not just how much vitamin C you take. I'm sure there were plenty of "limeys" that died early regardless of how many limes they ate.

But whilst we're on the subject, can anyone tell me what the proven health benefits of Vitamin C are? I have recently bought a citrus press, so I'm having fresh orange and lemon juice every morning, plus I'm doing stuff like carrots, celery, apples and pears in my juicer. I imagine this is better for me than supplements.

Jane

Supplementing is just perpetuating the myth of the magic bullet.

If your diet and lifestyle are poor you'll get fat and sick. I can't put it any more clearly than that.

I have an article I wrote on Vitamin C.

There is overwhelming evidence that taking vitamin C is a healthy option.

I've pasted an article I wrote recently on the subject below.

And here's a site linking to articles about scientific research on Vitamin C.
http://www.qualitycounts.com/fpvitaminc.html

If you're juicing this has its benefits and its hazards.

If you go to www.healtheaudio.com and take a look at the excellent article "Juice craze or crazy juice" this outlines which juices are safe and which aren't.

There's quite a few other free health books, audio and resources there too.

I hope this helps.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh


Vitamin C
copyright 2004 Andrew Cavanagh (AMWA), all rights reserved.

Two studies in the last month tout the benefits of vitamin C with results as diverse as reducing the oxidative damage from extreme exercise and reducing the risk of developing rheumatoid arthritis. In November last year a study at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine found aged subjects with high blood levels of vitamin C had a fifty percent lower risk of mortality than subjects with low levels of vitamin C in their blood.
But despite the extensive research into this vitamin confusion still reigns. Is vitamin C really a safe, effective supplement and why do some studies fail to confirm its supposedly remarkable benefits?

The research into vitamin C is vast with studies suggesting vitamin C could be helpful for many conditions including Alzheimer's disease, cognitive functioning, anemia, strokes, blood pressure problems, heart disease, high cholesterol, stress, osteoporosis, post surgical complications, kidney failure, ulcers, skin damage from sun exposure, skin disorders, hair loss, splitting and breaking hair, blood glucose control problems, diabetes, macular degeneration, cataracts, vision loss, complications from smoking, breathing problems, asthma and even the common cold.
The late double Nobel Prize laureate, Linus Pauling, created enormous controversy in the seventies with his book There is a cure for the common cold. Pauling suggested taking doses of vitamin C as high as 10,000 to 20,000mg a day to treat various conditions.
Pauling went on to explain most mammals produce their own vitamin C and under stress or the onset of infection that production can increase ten fold. As an extreme example a goat can produce 13,000mg of vitamin C a day and under stress some claim a goat's vitamin C production might rise as high as 100,000mg a day.
Unlike animals humans lack a gene necessary for the production of the liver enzyme L-gulonolactone oxidase. Without this enzyme humans are unable to produce their own vitamin C.
This quirk of nature suggests at some point in our evolution we were eating large quantities of foods high in vitamin C reducing the need to produce our own. Since vitamin C can make fruit taste quite tart it is possible this essential vitamin has been bred out of our fruit in the quest for better tasting fruit varieties.

Pauling pointed out vitamin C is essential for phagocytosis – a process where white blood cells gobble up invading bacteria and viruses. If vitamin C levels in your blood are low enough phagocytosis can slow or even stop, leaving you susceptible to infection.
Vitamin C is also essential for a whole variety of other functions including increasing iron absorption, building tendons and cartilage, maintaining healthy bones and blood vessels and helping the liver excrete wastes. Vitamin C also acts as an antioxidant potentially reducing your chance of developing cancer.
Pauling maintained that vitamin C has a half life in your body of just three or four hours so the vitamin should be taken several times daily in quite large doses to maintain consistently high blood levels.
The studies where vitamin C is found ineffective usually involve single daily doses, small doses or both. Most of these flawed studies simply demonstrate the importance of effective delivery of vitamin C.
A half life of three to four hours suggests you should take vitamin C at least every eight hours to ensure vitamin C levels in your blood are maintained with some consistency. But how much vitamin C should you take and are there side affects?

Warnings about one side affect - developing kidney stones with large doses of vitamin C - are probably overblown. In the large scale Harvard Prospective Health Professional Follow-Up Study subjects supplementing over 1,500mg of vitamin C a day had the lowest risk of developing kidney stones.
Vitamin C may decrease the absorption of the blood thinning drug warfarin and mixed amphetamines like adderall and dexamphetamine so you need to exercise caution if you take these drugs.
But the main side effect of excessive vitamin C intake is diarrhea. Pauling suggested you should take vitamin C to bowel tolerance – enough so your stools soften but not enough to cause diarrhea.
Obviously the more often you take vitamin C the more steady your blood levels will be. Vitamin C in powder form mixed with bioflavinoids and taken with water seems to be the best absorbed form.
For most people three to six daily doses of vitamin C, 200mg to 1,000mg a dose would be a good therapeutic zone. Increasing the dose when you have early symptoms of a cold or other condition could also be an effective approach.
Despite some contradictory studies the evidence does seem to be overwhelmingly in favor of supplementing with vitamin C. It seems to be a cheap, safe, effective supplement with a wide range of positive benefits.

Hi Andrew,

So, if I wasn't eating enough fruit and vegetables before, and now I take them in juice form, surely I must be better off than I was before?

I won't eat my fruit whole - if it comes to that - I'll probably only eat fruit a couple of times per week - I just don't enjoy eating it. Also, surely I can eat a much higher quantity via juicing and it's going to be absorbed much more easily. To be honest, I'd find it hard to eat a whole carrot - and then it would have been cooked and probably lost most of its goodness. Not only that, but my body won't absorb most of it because it hasn't been chewed properly and a lot of it gets expelled. Presumably if I juice it - I'll absorb most of it.

Mercola also whines quite a bit about fruit juices. I can't help feeling that the positives must outweigh the negatives. Do you have any medical proof re: fruit juice increasing risks of diabetes and cancer etc?

If you think of lemons and limes - since when did anyone eat the flesh of these fruits? Their too tart - but absolutely lovely when combined with other things.

How about if you ate a rye biscuit and then had your fruit juice?

All I can say is that I'm becoming increasingly confused by all the health information out there,

Jane

Now this is a copywriting forum but to relieve your confusion I'll try to answer your question.

One of the biggest keys to health is the control of a hormone called insulin.
Insulin is a hormone released when you eat carbohydrates (this includes fruit and vegetables.)

Insulin is a storage hormone.
It indirectly stimulates your body to store fat and stops the body from burning fat for fuel.

Insulin also stimulates the production of a group of controlling hormones called type II or bad eicosanoids linked to every major disease including diabetes, cancer and heart disease, depression, multiple sclerosis, eczema - the list goes on and on....


So if your diet is too high in carbohydrates this will release excess insulin which can cause you to put on weight and develop a whole range of diseases.

Fruit and vegetables are usually an excellent choice of carbohydrates.

The fibre in fruit and vegetables slows down the conversion of the carbohydrates to blood glucose slowing down any release of insulin.

But when you juice you remove the fibre. So drinking juice and especially fruit juice can result in a surge of insulin.

Remember excess insulin - fat storage, disease.


If you don't want to eat fruit whole just eat vegetables.

Keep in mind other carbohydrates are likely to stimulate excess insulin production - sugar, sodas, pasta, rice, bread, and sugar filled snacks, french fries, potatoes etc.

Limiting these poor choices of carbohydrates is a key to good health.

So the basic tip.

Eat fruit and vegetables for carbohydrates.

"No one ever got fat eating broccoli!"


I hope that helps.

You can get plenty of free articles, audio, free books on weight loss and depression at www.undersizeme.com

Most people who take the time to read my books lose their confusion over health.

You simply can't get knowledgable about health reading tabloid magazines (they have GREAT headlines though).

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh (AMWA)

Andrew,

Thanks for the information and advice,

Jane

Hey Guys,

First, Michel, thank you for the nice words. I appreciate it.

Second, I'd like to thank everyone for the critique. There are many valid points I need to take into consideration. Interestingly, the site is now pulling 10.6%... without... any follow ups because I've been too busy writing for others to take care of my own "baby".

Quick Note: I wrestled with mentioning "Linus Pauling" or not. The fact is that the "miracle cure" is NOT about Vitamin C. Actually, Vitamin C is not a vitamin at all. It is a liver metbolite wrongly named and the name stuck.

That said, Linus Pauling did a great deal of study on this "other" cure for infectious disease which is linked to "Vitamin C".

By the way, the story in the website is true. I turned down the "genius" who has studied this cure for over 30 years because I thought he was full of baloney. After doing some research I decided to become my own "lab rat" and haven't had a cold since.

More importantly, this "substance" also fixes our bodies from the inside out to eventually (it takes a year or so) fortify our immune system against chronic degenerative disease like heart disease.

Apparently, I did not make that point strongly enough so I'll have to rewrite.

Thanks again, guys.

John