I finally have a product where I can use a "pure", "direct-respone" sales letter site.

I've been "live" for over 2 months now.

Beyond the BIG JV drops (which have been very successful), the 'normal' days are fairly slow.

I would greatly appreciate any feedback.

Ah ... You're so close to something really good here.

Look if you're going to copy John Carlton don't water down.
The reason his copy works is it's edgy.

If you're not copying John Carlton and you worked this out yourself then I'm impressed.

Nice testimonials etc but the headline...well...I don't like to be insensitive but it kind of weeeell...it STINKS!

Sorry I just had to say that.

Here's an alternative (and my sincerest apologies to John Carlton):

71 Year Old Golfer With A Gammy Shoulder Wins Major Championship With Pro Secrets Stolen From Killer Golf Guide


When You Finally Learn The REAL Secrets Of Blending Cutting Edge Biomechanics And These Down And Dirty Closely Guarded Pro Techniques...

You Can Add 20 Yards To Your Drives And Slash 7 Strokes Off Your Game Overnight Even If You're 71 Years Old With A Gammy Shoulder Hobbling From The Tee To The Eighteenth On Your Last Legs!

It's EASY...
Once You Know The Insider Short-Cut Secrets!


Can you imagine the look of pure horror on the faces of your golf buddies as you unleash the sweetest drives and lay down one killer golf stroke after another?...



I think that reads a little better.
Might want to run it past your 71 year old first though.



Then try:

Dear Golfer,

If you’ve taken lessons, bought the latest greatest equipment and your garage is filled with those crazy gimmick training aids...

If you've tried the golf pros and the newest clubs and you still can't get those drives onto the green or that damn ball near the damn hole then this is the most important piece of information you'll ever read.


Then your photo and guarantee.

I'm just wondering about that though.
What the hell is that ball under your arm for?
Could it be one of those gimmicky training aids?!!


Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

P.S. If you'd like some more suggestions or would just like to bathe me in the warmth of your praise feel free to email me at:
andrewcavanagh1@bigpond.com

I am only kidding about the praise bit.

I really hope you find something here helpful.
And I prefer cash.