Here's an unusual letter I just wrote to a potential client. Aside from the lack of formality, any thoughts are appreciated.

This is a company that wants to add 20M to their bottom line during 2005.

As I measure them in their industry, they couldn't be better candidates to accomplish exactly this mission.

One of two owners contacted me for a web site critique and we started talking about their sales environment. One thing led to another.

The guy I spoke with is sharp. He knows his numbers and develops unusual products that are nearly a custom fit for his market, resulting in a large market share. But... they are leaving a remarkable amount of money on the table.

They are solvent.

{EDIT}Their downstroke is 5K with 5K to follow, but before delivery. I'll deliver their web site and solution to their problem after final payment. Implementation of a solution will be structured as a monthly retainer.


Hi XYZ.

I'm writing to simply touch base with you and reassure you that
the needs of your company are upper most in my mind. Part of your
level of priority is due to our phone call.

Not only was it 'fun' speaking with you, but what you described
is exactly the kind of challenge I LOVE to tackle...

So much so...

I've got the puzzle figured out!

This is not a joke. I'm not attempting to be cute, or to bait
you, either.

About 99% of what I sell can be categorized as, intellectual
assets. So, even though I know exactly what needs to be done and
in what order to do it to get results, my hands are tied...

...Until you and your partner secure your position on my schedule
with an initial action that demonstrates your intentions. Money.

I know you'll be moving forward, that's not the question. Similar
to you, I want sales and financial results for your company ...
and to work with you on implementing solutions. I also want to
put and keep your account at the front of the line.

I want to move into this new year with you as my client who's a
champion. So that we may celebrate January 1, 2006 held in the
exhilarating embrace of a kick-ass, decisive, financial victory.

Know this, please: I am a warrior for my clients.

Is this what you want, or would a web site be better?


Sincerely,


Peter Stone

P.S. In case you don't have my number handy, it's (612) 501-4461

P.P.S. If you would like to move on this opportunity now, you can send a
payment using PayPal to: pstone695@earthlink.net , or a check to
Peter Stone
330 Oak Grove Street #310
Minneapolis, MN 55403

This is definitely something I think he would respond positively to. It's written with the (What Gary Halbert calls) PWM (Player with money) in mind. A driver, a result oriented decision maker.

I sent off a similar letter to sell myself to a company that is somewhat in the same situation. Their goal is to make 500 expensive B2B sales and I "had the puzzle figured out" as well... I sent a similar mail and a week later I sat at the directors desk discussing his business, his problems and my ideas.

I'd say if this guy is any bit similar as mine, you're gonna get his attention and get the assignment.

Erik,

Thank you for the encouragement and congratulations on finding a shooter.

This is what keeps the passion going for me - the rally, mount and charge spirit, rather than endless meetings.

I actually laugh out loud at clients that expect me to scramble for dollars, as we were talking about in another thread.

My God! If they only knew what we can do for them, but they don't and they never will. Oh well... NEXT!

If you need any help with your shooter, count on it, bud.



Peter

Hi Peter,

I really like most of your letter. Just this one part -- "...my hands are tied... Until you and your partner secure your position on my schedule with an initial action that demonstrates your intentions. Money."

-- rubbed me the wrong way for some reason, almost like some sort of extortion attempt. (I must watch too many crime shows.)

Since you spoke to the client and got to know him a bit, I'm sure there's a reason why you chose to go with this particular tone. (One thing I'd be concerned about, though, is the partner you did NOT speak to... how might he/she take it?)

You said it was "unusual," so this is not how you typically write to potential clients?

I'm not saying it's bad (I'm way too much of a rookie to make a judgment about that!); it's just not my personal style.

It sounds like a very exciting opportunity for you! I'll eagerly be awaiting other opinions on your letter... this is another great learning adventure for me. Thanks!

You must be intuitive to be so very insightful. Is that true, Bonnie?


Peter

Thanks for your offer Peter, I might take you up on it once I'm done structuring the offer. So far, things are looking promising. By the way, this deal is pay-per-performance as well.

For me as a "copy cub", it still means that I sometimes have to trust on my instincts and my personal power to accept a deal that I probably won't accept a few years down the road. But as long as I deliver and I manage to handle the client the right way it usually turns out well.

Oh man, my dream is to be in your position. Or Michel's, or Halbert's.

Anyway (if I'm not too bold here), keep us updated on this guy - 20m sounds very promising and I'm sure it'll be an amazing success for the both of you! Best of luck

You are way-y-y too kind, Erik.

I don't think there is anything wrong with pay... performance. Just some pitfalls. At either end of the price range, they take time and thinking to administer. If not careful, the proposition can set an antagonistic dynamic in motion.

That said, there's a lot that can go right with them, too.

(Mutterings from an old guy)
But just consider, as a person with the big idea, who can write and sell, you always, always, always carry the bigger stick - even if you don't have a track record. Because...

With a pen as your sword, and a single idea as your steed, you can literally change the entire landscape of someone's life, save an entire company ... and ... help people.

It's your intellectual assets that are valuable, not necessarily your track record, or any specific project that counts. Historic success offers some degree of 'proof', as it's indicative, but isn't necessarily a determining factor of anything.

The bigger your workable ideas, the bigger your stick. (As Halbert says, if someone interupts your brainstorm, hit 'em in the mouth). Which is why...

You're one idea, one letter away from fortune's smile.


Peter Stone

Peter,

The one thing that doesn't sit well with me is your sentence:

"This is not a joke. I'm not attempting to be cute, or to bait
you, either."

I saw no reason why the fact you figured out the puzzle would be taken as something cute, so this disclaimer seemed unnecessary and maybe puts ideas into their heads that you don't want there.

You take your work seriously, seems to me they should understand that as well.

Instead, maybe you want to say something that could substantiate your claim... maybe just a hint of strategy?

Like Bonnie, I'm just sharing a personal gut reaction I hope is helpful.

Best of success!
Kay

Thank you, Kay. There is truth to what you're saying. I'll tell you the reason I put it in there, but this is not to say that you don't have a great point. You do.

They have tried everything they know to solve their problem. They've thrown everything at it and it has held on and on. There competition outshines them for what has be unexplicable reasons.

Now, he called some guy for a web site critique and before we were off the phone, I told him I had part of his solution - how to up sell. Now, to proclaim that I've got 'it'... the big one ... I anticipated his disbelief.

But your point is certainly worthy of careful consideration.

Thank you, Kay.


Peter Stone

I agree with you here Peter, I thought it was a good phrase. It tapped into the "conversation in my head"...

Also, thanks for your wise words. I'm still a young guy who's probably gonna side-step a lot in my next few years, but from what I've learned here and from Halbert & others has probably eliminated a truckload of other pitfalls.

It's invaluable to me.