Hi.

I'd appreciate your thoughts on the headline, intro and flow of the letter.

Thanks!

Job Interview Success Formula

I think it looks good and clean. IMHO your copy could use some more sizzle

How about a headline like:

Disgruntled HR Manager's Black Book Reveals How to "Hack" Any Job Interview For An Immediate Offer!

...A behind the scenes look at what goes on in a hiring manager's head the second you enter an interview...

Dear Friend,

What makes interviewers scratch and claw to hire one person...While virtually ignoring another?"

What makes an interviewer turn down a "golden" job candidate while settling for someone who seems to have just fallen off the turnip truck?

If you find yourself looking for a good position, you need to know the truth about what goes on behind the scenes.

The sad fact is:

You might be more qualified.

You might have the degrees and certifications

You might have years of experience

-- still some bozo gets the job while you are at home waiting for your phone to ring.

If this sounds like you, never fear!

My name is Jeremiah Kalb, my associates and I interview candidates all day long. And what I am about to reveal will be the most important thing you read all year.

If you use these secrets, you will have an amazing advantage over an interviewer.

If you don't use them, you'll become just another person we talked to that day. And then...

We will quickly forget you.

Yes, there are the massively qualified people I have to turn away. It's not my fault - it's theirs.

I'll tell you why in a minute, but it's not because the interviewer is dumb, it's something else. Something much more subtle.

And this subtle factor "screams" at me, it screams at all interviewers. You might not even be aware you are doing it. Most Interviewees don't.

That's what makes it so deadly for people wanting to land a job. They lose the job within 10 seconds of entering the room. Never knowing the reason why!

and so on...

Jeremiah hopefully you see what I'm getting at.

P.S. If you take this route, I'd suggest you get a picture of you in a power suit, looking serious like Michel is in this pic: RSS Feed And MyBlogLog Community » The Michel Fortin Blog

Jerimiah,
Read this Blog Entry regarding How to Decide:
Internet Business Blog » 5 Minute Marketing Research

Then you can use this cool tool:
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This will SAVE you a ton of time and money.
You are progressing forward.
Keep up the momentum.

Brad,

Thank you for your critique and injecting some sizzle. Good painting of words.

I like the angle you are suggesting = "...A behind the scenes look at what goes on in a hiring manager's head the second you enter an interview."

My goal/angle with the "obstacles" is to give the reader the feeling they are gaining some useful information and to "feed" their need - job interview success via my e-book.

[The first quality is a professional presence. Managers "know it when they see it" and won’t hire you without it. This means your first impression is critical.]

[Fortunately the interviewer will give you all the clues you need to speak his language without bribing or manipulating him. The trick is knowing what to look for.]

[If you expect to win, you have to negotiate the right way.]

Having said that, does the letter in any way "feed your need"?

I'm still thinking about your headline. I like "black book."

I don't like "disgruntled" or "hack." It doesn't seem to flow.

Maybe a few substitutions of words and rearrangement?

Thanks again.

Jeremiah

Jeremiah, You'll probably test a lot of headlines.

Here are the reasons why I think those two words speak to your audience:

Disgruntled gets the reader to think. "wow, an HR manager really spilled the beans and someone found the black book!"

The job seeker may be disgruntled himself... It is a common term regarding employment.

Hack is a more recent word implying there is a simple "underground" way to get the job. Builds curiosity.

Those were my thoughts, what do the others think?

Brad,

Okay...I'm seeing it. Thanks.

Brad,

Back to the last question raised...do the listed obstacles in anyway "feed the need"? to get my book for interview success

How about what the others think as well?

Thanks.

Jeremiah

Sure, plus, I think you could pull them out as-is and use them as a nice mini-course to entice people to sign up for your list.

"Have a job interview next week? get my FREE mini-course that will help you easily defeat the 3 top obstacles to a successful interview."

Maybe this?

pre
[Do you wish you could read your interviewer’s mind so landing any job could be as easy as counting to three?]

headline
[“Corporate Mid-Manager Opens His Black Book and Reveals How Anyone Can Land Their Dream Job With These ‘Insider Only’ Secrets!”]

sub
[...A behind the scenes look at what goes on in a hiring manager's head the second you enter an interview...]

Dear Friend,




Does the headline have to answer why I opened my black book?

Thanks.

Jeremiah