dfs

Writing a critique for this will take too much time ... I'll do it later. But the bottom line is, you're not speaking to the emotional component of why people will want to buy your lessons.

People never want to learn to play piano. And they couldn't care less about "Quiescence."

They want to impress their friends at parties, play at church and enthrall their congregations, entertain their families at holiday gatherings, woo that special someone, play for money at gigs, restaurants and bars, etc, etc, etc. And they want to do it in the easiest, fastest and most laziest way possible.

Look at my friend Jermaine Griggs' copy for a similar product:

http://hearandplay.com/
http://gospelkeys.com/
http://www.hearandplay.com/gospelkeys202.html
http://www.homepianocourse.com/

How about the oldie but goodie

"They Laughed When I
Sat Down At The Piano...
But When I Started To Play!"

Your copy's way too short and doesn't talk about benefits.
Get some blank index cards and write down every reason you can think of people should take your piano course. One reason to a card.

What makes your course unique?
How is it different from any other course?
If you were talking to someone one on one how would you convince them to take your course?
(If you can actually convince someone in person you have a chance of doing it in print).

Just imagine you were in a living room with someone and you wanted to teach them piano but didn't know much about them.

Look I play piano and if I was one on one with someone and wanted to give them lessons I'd kick off with something simple:

"Wouldn't You Love To Play That Piano?"

Now this person has probably tried to learn before so I need to get over that objection - already tried and failed etc.

"If You'll Follow My Simple Step By Step Instructions
You Can Be Playing Piano Better Than You Ever Thought Possible
In Just A Few Weeks. I 100% Guarantee it!"

Now I know he's thinking - Really. Why should I believe that?


"I can show you the fast learning secrets I've use to teach Literally hundreds of beginners just like you to really enjoy your piano playing. Not just playing by rote but really playing from your heart - the way music was meant to be played."

He's interested but still dubious that it will work for him - he's failed in the past.

"This special learning program will work for you even if you've failed with every piano teacher in town because I'll teach you the secrets of letting go and letting the music come straight from your soul. "

"In real music there are no rules, just expression. The music's already there inside you." I touch his chest near his heart.

"And all you really need to do is sit down at that piano, let go and let that music out."

Now he's on an emotional upper at the thought of that so I'd just go straight in and say something like:

"Look let's give it a try. Come here and put your fingers on the keyboard like that. Thumb on that white key - we call that middle C...."

Notice I didn't say "Look I'll send you my free newsletter.

I might say "This is just the first of 10 secrets of playing piano from the heart. Come back tomorrow and I'll give you another one. My gift to you. I love sharing with people the joy of playing this way."

At this point in print you sell your free autoresponder course.

Now if you're subtle about it - keep throwing in subtle hints at each free lesson about how much your lessons are normally worth - after half a dozen lessons this person will begin to offer you money.

You can politely refuse saying - no the first ten lessons are my gift to you - maybe later you can pay.

After 10 lessons - if you're any good - you'll have a paying student for years.

Now if you don't' get this go to your phone book now, look up Amway distributors in the Yellow pages and sign up to sell some soap (I'm NOT joking).

If you can sell person to person you'll be able to sell in print. The principles are the same.


Jermaine Griggs has a great autoresponder series at www.HearandPlay.com, a company that
specializes in teaching people to play the piano by ear.

This autoresponder course gets a 60% response!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a series of 60 free piano lessons.

If you're willing to give first people will buy from you.
The more you give the more they'll want to buy from you.

It's not rocket science.

Just think of it as a one on one exchange.

The copy above is pretty rough and too short but you get the idea.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

P.S. The copy:

"Wouldn't You Love To Play That Piano?"

"If You'll Follow My Simple Step By Step Instructions
You Can Be Playing Piano Better Than You Ever Thought Possible
In Just A Few Weeks. I 100% Guarantee it!"

"I can show you the fast learning secrets I've use to teach Literally hundreds of beginners just like you to really enjoy your piano playing. Not just playing by rote but really playing from your heart - the way music was meant to be played."

"This special learning program will work for you even if you've failed with every piano teacher in town because I'll teach you the secrets of letting go and letting the music come straight from your soul. "

"In real music there are no rules, just expression. The music's already there inside you. And all you really need to do is sit down at that piano, let go and let that music out."


Autoresponder
"10 Secrets Of Playing Piano From The Heart. The Groundbreaking Easy-Learning Piano Program."

"Look let's give it a try. Come here and put your fingers on the keyboard like that. Thumb on that white key - we call that middle C...."

"This is just the first of 10 secrets of playing piano from the heart. Come back tomorrow and I'll give you another one. My gift to you. I love sharing with people the joy of playing this way."

"How much do I normally charge? Oh around $60 an hour but don't worry about that - we're friends and this is my gift to you."

"How much for lesson 11? Well look normally I charge $60 an hour but I really love teaching you. I'll make you a really special offer for the next 10 lessons... and I'll even throw in a couple of these music books you'll need to practice at home."

See how natural this is. You just need to understand human nature.