I think if you just skipped the bullsh** and told any dentist you'd give him 5x what he'd charge your son for teeth work in printing, and a lifetime of killer discounts, no doctor in his right mind would pass up on the offer.

As it is, your sales letter is using a technique that I personally find to be very irritating and would make me want to wad it up and throw it away.

If I wanted to be guilted into doing something, I'd make eye contact with the Salvation Army Bell Ringer in front of Wal-Mart.

Seriously, cut the Hallmark crap in the headline and whatever you do... DO NOT encourage your friend to attach the letters.

Simply make a business proposition. Imagine someone writing to you asking you to perform your professional services for free.

Would you rather be guilted into doing it, or get a big fat once in a lifetime benefit?


Also, make sure the dad uses his best paper and printing. Like a subliminal testimonial of his work.


Go get em tiger!

Jeremy,

Are you writing for vertically challenged people? Surely your not writing for people who don't have the Big money?

You're absolutely welcome! If there's anything else I can do to help, you just let me know.

I'll be around.

Good to meet you too!

Merry Christmas

Hello Influencing Money,

Where is the letter? Since someone reviewed it - quite harshly I see - I assume it was posted here. I hope you didn't let him intimidate you into taking it down.

I looked at this post just because I felt like seeing something that was in the spirit of Christmas, but instead I found the spirit of the pre-enlightened Scrooge in Jeremy Estes!

If you did post it here, I hope you will again. I'll try to remember to return here and give a review that, while honest, really will incompass the spirit of Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, etc. (i.e., it won't include any unwarranted nastiness).

Namaste,

Janet

WOW! lol

Was it the Hallmark reference or the Salvation Army Bell Ringer analogy that earned me the '06 Scrooge award?

I know the GUILT emotion is a popular exploit, but certainly one that's overused (IN MY VERTICALLY CHALLENGED OPINION).

I do apologize if I hurt your feelings, my only intention was to create a potential reaction the reader would have had to your original proposition.

If I'm still invited to critique any future work of yours, I promise to use a more gentle and 'unwarranted nastiness-free' approach.


Good Luck!

Jeremy,

I just re-read your post and I'm realizing it wasn't as harsh as I thought. I apologize, I should have read it more thoroughly. It was confusing without the context of the original letter - which I assume InfluencingMoney had posted.

Influencing Money, maybe you took it down to make the suggested changes?

People can be unnecessarily harsh on this board (and I don't mean they shouldn't be telling it like it is - I mean they tend to add unkind comments that add nothing to the critique). So I guess I'm a little sensitive to that tendency on this board.

Sorry Jeremy, and best of luck, Influencing Money.

Namaste,

Janet

LOL This crazy.

I don't think the ink is dry on your website either.

I don't critic copy either.