Hi

I made a very elementary attempt at copy writing for my new service at www.iLogoDesign.com . I am focussing on custom logo design service here.

I will be honored to have your suggestions to improve the conversions (stands at about 1.5% just now for the proposals, 50% of which convert to sales).

Thanks so much.

Hi Arun,

First off, I think your "very elementary attempt at copywriting" has some good elements.

But let's start with my overall impression of your site.

The design seems kind of ho-hum (not very exciting or interesting). I'm not a fan of generic stock photos and I don't think the rather large one at the top of your site adds anything of value. Of course, I could be making a false assumption that it's a stock photo... or is it a photo of you and your team? It's on every page, so it's getting a lot of emphasis. If it IS you and your team, perhaps you need a caption to say that. But even so, I don't think it should receive so much emphasis. You should always put more emphasis on your prospects and the solutions you provide to their problems, rather than on yourselves.

"Assign Your Custom Logo Design To Us, Get A Memorable Identity" is not a strong headline. It's biggest mistake is that the first part puts the focus on YOU and not your prospect. It also needs to be punchier, get people's attention, appeal to them personally (perhaps with a powerful benefit), and show them why they should continue reading. Perhaps something like: "Boost Your Business by 37% With a Customized Logo That Burns Your Company's Image Into Your Prospect's Brain!" Of course I made that 37% stuff up, but that's just to give you an idea.

It took me a while to realize that the alternating logos in the top right corner are samples of your work and not just banner ads. I guess I'm just slow... but the sideways text "logo samples" isn't easy to read, and the color of the text doesn't get my attention.

The story about Joe Smith is obviously made up. The idea of using a story is great, but it should be a testimonial from a real client. And instead of focusing on the costs of logos, it should focus on the benefits and what people gain by having one. The more specific, the better.

Your own logo for ilogodesign should be one of your most powerful selling points... an example of your work that shows prospects how good you are. If you don't have a killer logo for your own business, they'll doubt you can create one for them. Your logo just doesn't impress me at all. It seems very bland, not very original, not interesting or memorable. It virtually contradicts (for me) the copy in your page about what a logo should be and do.

I think you need to include more information about what a great logo can do for your clients. I understand that many people coming to your site will already know this and that's why they're looking for logo designers, but it's always good to reinforce reasons why people should buy your product. As a potential client myself, I'm not convinced that I need a logo at all. How would you convince me? Sell me on the idea that a logo is necessary, and THEN sell me on why I should buy it from YOU.

You use the phrase "memorable identity" several times. I think you need to explain exactly what that means for your clients' bottom lines. If people have my card with phone number and website URL, why do they need anything else to remember me by? How will a logo with a "memorable identity" benefit me?

I like what you say about "creative new design freshly visualized and created by experienced designers based on your business philosophy." I think that's a big selling point and should be emphasized more, perhaps with placement further up top or as a subheading to get more attention.

Same thing with the info about having 3 designers work on the project. I don't know anything about logo design, but that seems rather exceptional to me (in a very good way) and should receive more emphasis.

I like your guarantee.

You need testimonials from satisfied customers.

I didn't look at your entire site. Your portfolio is good... lots of interesting designs!

Please do NOT take any of those comments personally, Arun. I am NOT by any means an expert in anything, much less logo design. I'm just expressing my opinions, based on a quick review, with the intent to help you grab more customers. OK? Perhaps others here will offer additional opinions...

Bonny

If I were to take things personally, I would not put up my work for dissection I am really thankful that you took time out to view my site and offer valuable advice.

I share many of your views but unfortunately my partner in this project is a rather conservative fellow. In fact, this copy is aggressive for him

Also, having a killer logo is really useful to your branding. What comes to your mind when you see a 3-pointed star? Mercedes. No? Can you recall the name of the company with golden arches in the logo? I am sure you think of McDonalds when you see them.

I use 'memorable identity' quite frequently because I want to equate the logo with the 'memorable identity'. I cannot rule the logo design market - there are too many players. But if I can make memorable identity popular, I can rule that market. (Advice taken from Al Ries' branding mantras).

Also, logo design is the product, memorable identity is the benefit.

Just some of my thoughts. I look forward to what the other experts think.

Hi Arun,

I agree with much of what Bonnie said - especially regarding the rotating logos - I thought they were banner ads too.

I'm not going to say much about the copy, except that it's a decent offer that I think is neatly presented and you'll probably do well. Some of the english could do with tidying up - phraseology that doesn't work, typos etc.

I might be a potential client, so I would like to speak about it from that point of view.

I'm not a branding expert, but I do know a little about it. Branding does a number of things:
- captures the essence of the business
- creates visibility through easy recognition
- creates a consistent customer experience that can be easily communicated to others

the ultimate goal of which is brand equity, which can either result in more customers through the door or higher fees/prices. Viz Nike vs HiTec. Bottom line - better branding = more profit.

The copy that you have written indicates to me that you don't truly understand branding or where the logo fits into a branding strategy. I don't agree that a logo should be "based on your business philosophy." A business philosophy could be many things including what you are in business to do, how you conduct business etc. This is not really of interest to the potential customers or clients. Disneyland might have a very conservative business philosophy in terms of how they treat staff, their accounting and legal procedures, who they choose as suppliers etc. However, the actual customer experience should be fun, joy, good times and laughter. Therefore I would suggest that a logo capture the business's essence from the point of view of the client/customer, not its philosophy. "Essence" has a broader scope.

There are a number of aspects to building a brand, one of which is visual identity. This is where the logo comes in. It needs to be simple, memorable and some kind of pointer to the customer experience.

I looked at the portfolio and the designs are decent enough. But this doesn't tell me anything in terms of whether you have fulfilled the brief or not. Do these designs represent their respective companies adequately and do they point to the customer experience? Could you tell us what the briefs were, how they were fulfilled and what the eventual outcome was? Before and after? It is not just about aesthetics.

More importantly, what's in my mind is, do you have a process that you would take me through to actually create the right design for me? Surely an inappropriate or irrelevant design is worse than no design at all. I don't necessarily want or value 9 designs from 3 designers - what I want is to work with a company that will work with me to refine my ideas and the essence of my business and reflect that in a winning design that I will be able to use for years and years to come. Believe you me, there is little more annoying than a re-branding exercise when you realise that your current logo is not up to the job of representing your business anymore. (I'm onto my 3rd logo - all designed by me, but I'd probably benefit from proper input from a designer).

What also comes to mind is how on earth can you give me 9 designs, and then another 3 or 6 revisions in that price. I realise that labour in India is cents on the dollar, but still, $97 is too good to be true. My suspicion is that someone is sitting there with a logo creation package, rather than real, highly qualified designers coming up with original designs that reflect the uniqueness of my business. But that's just me, and I probably know more about it than other small business owners. I would be very dubious of the quality I could get in this price, especially as you haven't said why it's so cheap.

Those are my thoughts as a small business person looking to improve their logo within the wider context of a brand building strategy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Boost Your Business by 37% With a Customized Logo That Burns Your Company's Image Into Your Prospect's Brain!"

Bonnie - whereas you and Michel can prove that a red headline improved your results on your webpages, I can't see how anyone could really prove that a change of logo improved their business results directly. There are too many other variables at play and what makes a good logo is too subjective.

But what we might be able to say is that the recipient of the logo will feel a lot more confident about marketing their business and handing out business cards etc. now that they have a decent logo.

The question is: who is the target and what is their problem? At that price, I'm guessing that the target is a start-up, small business that either:
a) has a logo they did themselves which deep down they know is not terribly good OR
b) has no logo at all
and their problem is that they don't feel that their business is being professionally represented by their existing effort, or they may even be embarrassed by it. Would portraying themselves in a more professional manner be more important than a "memorable identity", I wonder?

Jane[/b]

Nice comments, Jane. Shall I say, deeply thought-out.

Sidenote: I like the well thought out and involved, sometimes passionate, comments that you post.

Frankly, I was slightly unsure about the positioning of the service and the offer. As I mentioned, this is a competitive market and I am trying to stand-out. We have a fairly thriving business in web designing and logo design, working in more traditional ways.

This project is my attempt to create a long sales letter, direct response type web site to sell our logo design service. This concept is radically different from our other sites.

Jane, the price is actually $147 but I am trying to get some quick initial sales by offering a limited-time discount. It is not a sales gimmick - we will hike the price soon enough. I am not putting a timeline as I am not sure just now, how soon I can get those initial sales.

We do have a process and system for the logo design and yes, there are real designers doing fresh designs. Just that we are pretty efficient and the department is well managed. Add the lower level of salaries as compared to the west (BTW, we pay quite high salaries when compared with other Indian companies) and we can manage to offer these rates and still remain profitable.

We are also ISO 9001 certified and that helps.

Please don't misunderstand me - I am not telling this to show-off. Just answering your doubts. And I think, may be I should be telling all this somewhere on the site too, to build the trust of our prospect.

Thanks again.

Hi

Let me ask you a question -

Does the story in the begining draw you in? Shall I retain the story and make it more emotional (may be even change the focus from the price to the other benefits) or drop it?

Is the formatting OK? I have used Courier font and slighly indented formatting. No highlighting or box effect that might compete with the headline. Shall I change this?

Thanks in advance.

Arun,

The story didn't really get to the heart of the problem for me. What the problem is, depends on who your target market is.

Which brings us back to positioning. I get those spammy ads re: logodesign, but I never read them, so I don't know what they are charging, and I don't know what you're competing against.

When I first started out I knew that I could probably get a logo designed for about £75 at the bottom end of the market - but it never interested me because I couldn't see how someone could do a decent job in that price. The problem with limited designs and/or revisions is that you're basically entering a lottery - will the designer hit the jackpot before all of my "go's" are used up?

So my thinking is this:
- either go for more sales to more people at the bottom end of the market, and hope that they do not exercise their right to unlimited revisions and that one of the 9 designs will take their fancy. This will probably work well for people who are not used to buying in design
OR
- increase the price and position yourselves as BETTER VALUE than expensive design agencies, and then explain that the client gets at least as good a service but for lower cost. Then I would go onto explain that because your designers are so experienced and proficient, and due to the lower wage rates in India, you are able to offer a premium service at a budget price.

This strategy presumes that you are dealing with design-savvy people, who will quite likely want to know exactly how you intend to capture the essence of their business, and they may want reassurance that you're not going to stop after 9 designs and tell them that their credit has expired. I would also give some case studies that show how businesses like mine came to you for help and you transformed their dull logo that said nothing intriguing about their company into a vibrant statement of the energy and purpose of that company. Tell me that they got compliments from their customers about their new logo.

Meanwhile, you are providing exactly the same service as you were before, but at a higher price and with different positioning. And if you really want to get it moving and shaking - I would offer to sell into US and European designers who can't do this kind of work in that price, but may want an easy way of fulfilling the orders they receive from their lower paying clients. In fact, I might even consider it myself if someone rocks up at my door without a logo. But I'd need more proof first that you can deliver and that your clients are happy.

- maybe that's why I'm a marketing coach, amongst other things

Re: your story. I would go and ask some small business people what their fears and issues are around their logos and whether they've used a design agency or done it themselves and why. What is their main concern regarding logos - professional look or memorability. My experience is that most small business people want a professional look more than they want memorability, which actually, only comes with repetition anyway - logos are actually pretty subliminal - people don't realise that they've remembered them.

Jane

Jane

I appreciate your efforts. These will come in very handy when I will redo my website message for better positioning.

I will be happy to discuss and show our working style for a logo design process after I come back from a week long family tour. During this time, I will be checking this board infrequently.

Thanks again.

Hi Arun,

Hope you enjoyed your tour - bound to have been better weather than the windy, blowy, leaves-fall-off-the-treesey that we're having here.

Oh to have been somewhere warm this year ....

(We had a rubbish summer and we didn't go o/s either, so I'm feeling quite deprived ....)

Jane

Hi Jane

Just back. Wonder what site I opened first?

The weather here is very pleasant - not burning hot, not freezing cold. As McDonald's new byline says - "I'm loving it."