There are few loose ends on registering etc. that need to be worked out ... but I hope there's enough to get your feedback.

Recumbent Tricycling

Thanks all,
Sharon

Hi Sharon,

I'm going to be blunt and say that your copy needs a LOT of work.
NOTE: This critique section can sometimes seem a little harsh, but take heart. We've all been there! I hope you find these notes helpful.

I would start from scratch... here's how:

Identify your target market... where is your traffic coming from? My bet is that someone who types "recumbant tricycle" into Google may actually want one of these... they're seriously interested. This paragraph would simply turn them off:
"A trike? You've got to be kidding. That's for decrepit old farts. I'd look like a FOOL riding around my neighborhood on a tricycle. Thanks but ... No Thanks."

Find your 'hook'. From reading your page, here's what stands out as a potential hook:
limits aches and pains !

Start with your story. How did you get into these trikes? Why do you know so much?
Tip: the very tricky thing with stories is to tell the story about yourself... without sounding 'me, me, me'. Use the word you... for example:
"Like you, I love to ride.... blah, blah..."
"Perhaps you too have suffered a riding injury... aches and pains ..."
"Did you want to quit biking altogether? You know, I actually did..."
.... That's when I discovered trikes... blah blah... Here's what a trike can do for you..."

List lots of bullets with trike benefits...

Put some work (I mean hours!) into your headline.

Swipe:
Take a look around at some of your fellow forum members' websites. See how they open their copy with a powerful headline and opening paragraph. Don't copy their phrases word for word... but follow the general layout and flow.

Shona - thank you so much for those insights. I'm more than a newbie ... I'm PRE-newbie and it shows. Let me pause and regroup my thoughts -- selling is something I've never done ... but I DO know how to buy, so I need to spend some more time thinking like a buyer.

Sharon

Got it in one sista!

Let me add that while the copy (text) is wrong I think the layout is nearly flawless. The top picture should be the coolest rather than ......not coolest, but the form and style is very nice. Switch the background to white or off-white (because that gets better response).

But visually it flows nice.

See my library for sales letters.