Hi Gang,

So how can you get a killer body?

Whoever comes up with a knock out headline and suggestions will get the product and all the bonuses for free!

Check out my keyword targeted site first. Keyword Bullworker


Bullworker X5 and Bully Xtreme Home Gym Isometrics Training


My main site is more generic.


Bullworker | Beaten By Bully Xtreme Home Gym | Isometrics Training | Static Contraction

For more info regarding the history of the product you can read more here.


BullworkerX5 History


Here’s the facts.

In addition to the website I am also an Ebay Powerseller marketing the same product.

My copy is working I just want to create a better message to market sales letter.


The current website (Bullworker.name) is converting at 5% off of my adwords campaign from targeted keywords.

I am in a quagmire regarding message to market.

I don’t like my current headline and I wish to change it. It’s too long.

The product that I am selling is a product on which the patent ran out.

The original product was called the Tensolator and later renamed the Bullworker.

I have tested the bonuses and they work. I have tried combining them and that pulled the conversion rate down.

• My target market is males age 35 to 70 .
• I am currently looking into video to visually explain the product. So Mr. Calhoun appreciate your input!!
• I am not converting highly on keywords such as Bowflex alternative, build muscles etc…

So any help, input ideas are welcome.

Frank Sherrill

Dude,

you're going at this sales pitch all wrong!

In fact, I bet if you put the suggestions I'm going to give you to good use, you might just double your conversion rate!

so listen up:

Your product is BEGGING to be sold via an advertorial!

Why?

1. because people go on the web looking for information, they're more likely to read your advertorial because it's gonna look like it offers a ton of information - which it will - and it's gonna increase your readership which means more people are more likely to buy.

2. You'll probably pick up some sales you might be losing from people seeing right away you're trying to sell something.

3. there's such a good amount of info for a "scandals" lead where you can talk about how weights and all the other stuff isn't going to help you, but your product will, something like "7 startling facts prove most workout routines aren't just bad for you... they could be deadly!"

Anyways, I think you should make it into an advertorial, advertise the free info you're already giving away in this letter and segway into your sales letter halfway through, then pile on all the testimonials and the bonuses... and try testing the price point with a 7 or 9 in it.

I'll PM you a link of how I did an advertorial ad, I just don't want it getting tossed around the net yet, because It's not running yet.

Thanks appreciate your input.

PM away.

Frank Sherrill

I changed my headline to create a closer message to market match on one of my websites.

I liked the graphic idea promoted by subtle and used by Michel.

I added a little different spin and am testing it right now.

Frank

Here's the link:

Bullworker X5 and Bully Xtreme Home Gym Isometrics Training

Hi Frank,

Mine arrived two days ago. Last night my 5 year old was "exercising" for hours with it - I had to get him to move because I was trying to watch a movie on TV. He loves that he can measure his strength. I even made a chart for him so he could see himself getting stronger.

Some notes:
- I have to say, I think your copy is decent, but it's underpriced. You could sell it for twice as much, easily. I realize in some cases you're competing against the Bullworker x5, and in others the buyer has no idea about the X5.

- I'm not sure how you're targeting your market. I bought it because I do bodyweight exercises (a la Matt Furey) almost exclusively. I'm unable to hit certain muscles the way I want to, and the Bully lets me do it. I hope you're considering all possible markets.

- There was no carrying case as was advertised.

- The CD with bonuses was loose in the box and scratched. Now I have to clean it off then see if it still works.

- Your NASA letter in your autoresponder sequence isn't written yet. Take it out of the sequence until it's written, or expect people to unsubscribe.

- There's something called a post-consumption letter or message which reduces refunds. It reinforces the buying decision. You're already doing this, but I would write a couple more of them. One to emphasize the isometric part of using the bully. During some exercises (especially compression exercises with the handles), the user can hardly compress it at all. Tell them that "you'll notice this" and remind them that they're still gaining strength and muscle because of the isometric contractions.

I was just writing a batch of headlines yesterday. There's one that would fit here perfectly if modified, but I'll have to look it up. It will smackdown the "Who else wants" headline, guaranteed. I've also got one in mind for the main site.

Burton

Frank:

I think u might be unnecessarily limiting your target market. Why not try a headline like:
no bull--bullyxtreme works for every body
& then try copy similar to:
From the senior in a wheelchair to a world-class bodybuilder, from the exec who needs a workout in the office or on the road to the homemaker needing to squeeze in a workout while the kids nap, from the college student in a dorm room to the middle-aged person who wants to look good--it's no bull--Bullyxtreme works for every body.

Also, if I were u, I wouldn't spend a lot of time mentioning others' products--that just steers folks away from your site to go investigate them. When u talk about the Bullworker (which, by the way, the majority of folks aren't familiar with) that just gets people curious & they go to the Bullworker site. &, while there, they just might decide they could do without the extras u offer, that the 8 inch difference isn't terrible, that they could save a bit of money by buying the Bullworker as opposed to the Bullyxtreme, etc. Just concentrate on what you've got-- a portable, reasonably priced piece of fitness equipment which can work for every body.

Also, truthfully, the majority of people out there don't really care if even the incredible hulk can't fully compress the thing. In fact, that kind of advertising may even serve as a deterrent to some, e.g., they feel maybe they can't do it either, so they'll buy something else. I'm not saying don't include that--include it in a separate paragraph targetted to athletes & bodybuilders.

Since marketing is all about numbers, target as many people as u can. Don't miss opportunities to get someone interested in your product by too narrow a focus.
[quote=FrankSherrill;31295]Hi Gang,

So how can you get a killer body?

Whoever comes up with a knock out headline and suggestions will get the product and all the bonuses for free!

Check out my keyword targeted site first. Keyword Bullworker


Bullworker X5 and Bully Xtreme Home Gym Isometrics Training


My main site is more generic.


Bullworker | Beaten By Bully Xtreme Home Gym | Isometrics Training | Static Contraction

For more info regarding the history of the product you can read more here.


BullworkerX5 History


Here’s the facts.

In addition to the website I am also an Ebay Powerseller marketing the same product.

My copy is working I just want to create a better message to market sales letter.


The current website (Bullworker.name) is converting at 5% off of my adwords campaign from targeted keywords.

I am in a quagmire regarding message to market.

I don’t like my current headline and I wish to change it. It’s too long.

The product that I am selling is a product on which the patent ran out.

The original product was called the Tensolator and later renamed the Bullworker.

I have tested the bonuses and they work. I have tried combining them and that pulled the conversion rate down.

• My target market is males age 35 to 70 .
• I am currently looking into video to visually explain the product. So Mr. Calhoun appreciate your input!!
• I am not converting highly on keywords such as Bowflex alternative, build muscles etc…

So any help, input ideas are welcome.
Frank:

Hey, abletec,

I hate to tell you this, but you should check the date on the thread before you put all that work in. Frank posted this last October, and he hasn't posted in the forum again since November. He may surprise us and show up and respond, but I wouldn't hold my breath. The odds are he won't even see your post.

Keep the critiques coming, but make sure it's a current thread before you put very much time in.

Ken

I actually did notice the date, Ken, I guess I was just taking a chance that he might still be around. O, well, what can I say? That's the way this week has gone. Fortunately, tomorrow begins another.