My First Webcopy

Colin Joss · **My First Webcopy -** 10-30-2006, 06:02 AM

I'd really appreciate if you'd be kind enough to review my first attempt at copy for my first product for sale.

You can check it out at The Society of Applied Psychology

Thanks in advance,

Colin

Evelyn S. · 10-30-2006, 06:38 AM

"Long Dead Author Kicks Self-Help Gurus' Butts!"

So what??? I stopped right at the headline. Plus I think the wording sounds a little off. Remember, the headline needs to contain some benefits for the reader.
Then, I went back for a second look and noticed your copy is really heavy on the "I." You need to be more "you" focused. I also really found it difficult to know what you are selling until I scrolled way down and saw the list of books.
I would have clicked off of the sight before I even got to the list of books.

John_S · 10-30-2006, 07:17 AM

I agree with Evelyn S. In addition, there's no margins around the body copy. The anti-gure thing isn't bad, but you've done little with it. Book titles and bullet points are boring and not benefic centered. There are no testimonials.

Overall the belief structure, how you've worded your claims, is weak. You're making it hard for the reader to see themself benefitting from the course.