Hello Everyone,

I finally have an opportunity to get my first copy job. I am to write a renewal letter for Newsweek subscribers who have not renewed for at least a month.

The previous letter was terrible, and did not entice anyone to renew. So with a little searching, and digging I came into contact with the marketing director of Newsweek, and thus this is where I am. So the tone of the letter is to be to someone who has either forgotten to renew or does not want to at this time.

Since I am new to this I will nees all the help I can get to nail this project. Thank you so much for your help.

April

NEWSWEEK

Dear Reader,

We wanted to let you know that you are missed here at Newsweek. Being the person you are

we know that you value your time, and are up to the minute on all of the current events.

Maybe you have been busy with all of your day to day business, and have forgotten that your

subscription has ended. If that’s the case we are looking forward to having you back. However if

for some reason that is not the case, and you have decided not to renew at this time we would

like to know why. Is their something that we can improve upon that would encourage you to

come back? Our customers are truly what matters. This is why we work so hard to keep all of

the important topics of our society right here in the open to let people like yourself know what is

really going on.

We have enclosed another subscription slip in this mailing. We truly hope that you will take the

time to think about all of the reasons that Newsweek benefits you. Maybe it’s the savings you

get with your subscription, the coverage and opinions of pressing issues. So renew today, and

you won’t miss anymore issues.


We look forward to having you back.


Sincerely

Not very enticing at all.

You don't give me any reason to renew.

What value would I be missing out on that only Newsweek provides?

How would I benefit by renewing my subscription?

etc...etc...

April,

The whole tone of your letter is about Newsweek, not the subscriber. You won't get any responses like that.

For instance, you don't want the first word of the first line to be "we".

You need to really think about your typical subscriber who chooses not to renew. Really imagine what their mindset is, what their life is like, write down some thoughts or feelings they have in general, not just related to Newsweek.

Then try to "be" them. And imagine your reaction (or lack of reaction) when getting the letter you've just written.

Does it make YOU want to resubscribe? If not, what would?

Answer that question and you'll know HOW to write your letter. Just make sure it's with your audience in mind, not what you personally prefer.

I really appreciate both of your guys opinions. I have gone back over my letter, and have rewritten it. I actually found a couple of old letters for Newsweek, and Wall Street Journal. I read over them to try to get a tone of what a renewal letter may look like, and sound like.

Hopefully this has improved the letter, I am still learning everyday and everyones inout really helps.

Thanks Again


NEWSWEEK

Dear Reader,

This letter is to let you know that we here at Newsweek noticed that you have not yet renewed your subscription. If you are undecided then we understand let’s think about the reasons why you subscribed in the first place.

You like being up to date with all of the national, and international news (space, nuclear affairs, and art.) You probably don’t have enough time to spend hours a day watching all of this on the news or on the computer for that matter. So you purchased Newsweek for it’s reliable information on all of the very pressing as well as important issues of today’s society. We know that you are a compassionate person who cares about the human race. Always trying to find out the bottom line on all of the controversial issues.

Also knowing that you like to get the facts with no opinions. This lets you form your own opinions of what’s going. So for one of the smartest investments you could make you can have Newsweek back in no time. Renew now so you can stay up to date on all of the events that you care about so much.

For as little as $.79 cents for 6 or 12 months you could have Newsweek back, but here’s the best deal if you come back now for $.69 cents an issue for 24 months you could save up to $85.32.

So what are you waiting for we can not guarantee that Newsweek will make you successful, but we do guarantee that you will have up to the minute quality information all of the issues that are going on in the world. That is what will put you in the top because you will always have useful, and complete information on all of the topics that maybe some don’t want to talk about.


We have enclosed a renewal form for you. So what are you waiting for come back to Newsweek, and save today, and conquer tomorrow.

Sincerely,

April,
First off, congrats on the gig!

Now, your letter. It's better but I still don't feel like it's explaining wiifm. I feel like i'm being told what I think and what I like.

Also, if I don't have enough time to see the news on tv, I don't know if I'll have enough time to read it.

What does Newsweek offer that no other magazine does?

I like the price savings part but it needs to be cleared up a bit.

John

A couple of things:

You're killing me with the "we here at Newsweek..." you're shooting yourself in the foot, when you're gearing up for a marathon. The letter should be a personal correspondence from the editor (whoever that is).

You should start your letter like this:


Dear Mr. Smith,

Frankly, I'm a bit worried about you.

I've just come to the conclusion that you haven't responded to any renewal notices I've sent. Is everything ok?

You know that Newsweek magazine...

***Here's where you fill in all that Newsweek has done for the reader over the past year or so. And how you need a shortcut to all the information you're bombarded with daily/weekly/monthly... and how Newsweek is the shortcut to "cut to the chase" type info.

Then transition into how you really appreciate every subscriber. Then transition into the offer for resubscribing now.


That's the general structure you should use. Kill the impersonal voice. Add some personality.

also just a note - make them feel good about the savings. Tell them they will save, not could save unless it really is a sliding scale?

You could try writing all the benefits of subscribing as dot points. really be specific and list them all. Then cull all the weak ones and zero in on the real powerful reasons anyone would buy or subscribe to newsweek. Then weave them into your letter.

April,
You need to be careful with your grammar and spelling; there were quite a few errors in your letters that could turn potential customers off.

I agree with the previous comments. Here's another idea:

Do you know who is the top runner in the current senatorial races - and is favored for the presidency (and why)?

Are you aware of the latest developments in the war in Iraq is going, and how they affect our nation this week?

You will be, if you continue to subscribe to Newsweek, where we bring you the latest news stories, with analysis by top experts...

(Mention benefits of subscribing, and highlight the low rate if they renew NOW)....

Hope this helps,
Sheri

Thank you so much everybody. I am very grateful to all of you for your help. This is my first job, and being new to this I want to make the best first impression that I possibly can.

Thanks,
April

In my small opinion...too much copy and not to the benefit quick enough. I am a skimmer, so that is just my take on it. I want to know the just in a paragraph and if I already subscribed before- would I need a reminder of what Newsweek is?