Hello Michel and Company!

Just found this website through Sowpub, and I am more than glad that I did..Even though my website copy is, well, pretty lame, it has sold a about 40 copies of my ebook so far. When you visit the site, you will notice that there are more than a few problems with the way it is layed out--not to mention the substance of the copy itself..I know that it can be improved, I just don't know how.

I understand my customers, and what they want in terms of this type of information, I just need (I think) a more coherent, and "tighter" message. If anyone could supply some pointers on the headline, and content, it would be appreciated..Oh, and BTW..This is the first advertisement I have written..I have no training in writing copy (as you will soon see) so try not to laugh to hard (LOL!) Thanks for any and all of your comments and suggestions..

http://www.productsforresale.com

Warmest Regards..
Robert..

Robert,

Not bad!

I've seen far worse from "professional" copywriters. You have the right spirit - I loved "Caviar Dreams"... keep bringing out that kind of color and expression!

Your biggest defect is the headline (or lack of it) in my opinion.

What are the 3 biggest problems you are resolving for your visitors with your product? Then what solutions do you offer?

Jot them down as if you are talking to a client right in front of you who is about to use it, and you are responding to their questions...

Start your response in a present tense verb. Just write.

Talk to them, resolve their pains.

Now take the biggest, most exciting solutions, and put them in your Headline. Start with verbs, it's the easiest way to get the hang of it.

Now go in and add some color, consider using compound adjectives and adverbs.

Next problem is that it is hard to read the page, try another font, and give your readers some more white space. What you have now has a repelling effect - you're probably losing A LOT of visitors just because they don't want to read such a page - soften it up.

Make your testimonials stand out a little more.

Make your guarantee stand out more, maybe even put it in a johnson box, add a guarantee image.

And make your order info much more clear and easy to find.

Just these few suggestions can help A LOT!

Good luck,

Tim

Hi Robert,

Just a couple pointers:

1. I think that you should remove the navigation links at the top
of the webpage and leave those at the bottom.

2. You have the tilte of the book as the headline which should really
be a benefit strong statement or promise. This should also be
in RED. Red headlines get better attention.

3. The font choice is a little difficult to read. You should try VERDANA
or Georgina which is easier on the eyes.

4. ALL CAPS ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO READ. You should change those
passages you have in all caps.

5. You need some more 'white space'. The paragraphs should be
kept to about 4 lines the most.

6. The testimonial boxes (called Johnson boxes in copywriting lingo)
should have a background color to help them to stand out from the
page more.

7. Your bulleted points do not answer the "So what?" question.
Your bulleted points should follow the formula: You get this ...
so that .....[BIG BENEFIT goes here].

8. To build credibility in your product you may want to consider
adding your smugshot, your scanned signature and your physical
address at the bottom of the page.

9. You should the credit card logos with the "buy now" button.
The credit card logos helps with credibilty as well.

Hope these pointers help.

If you are already making sales then these tips will surely improve
your conversion rate.

Kind Regards,

Ray Edwards
http://www.webcopy-writing.com

Dear Ray & Tim!

Well, I can't thank you guys enough..I never expected the detailed critique, and wonderful points that both have you have provided. I understand all of the advice both of you have suggested, and will make the appropriate changes when my webmaster can get around to it..Once again thanks..I never expected such an immediate repsonse, and wonderful information..I only wish I found this site first--before I put the site up on the net..

Warmest Regards..
Robert..