Dear Fellow Copywriters,

I've been working on a copywriting project for a multi-site affiliate program for weight loss products, hair loss products, sleeping aides, etc. I've created several pages in which all the benefits, objections, etc are answered and pitched. However I'm having some trouble with the most crucial part: The opening on the main page (the part marked in red).

The copy after the text in red establishes a range of benefits which should support the initial opening or promise, which is: This affiliate program is the real deal to making money in this business and is the most reliable, professional and profitable program around.

The reason for that, is that the current business environment for these kind of products is very shady. This is a legal US operation that is the first in it's kind in the fact that it is highly professional in a business that is plagued by fly-by scams, unprofessional small timers, etc. The main goal for this new program is to break into the market and reel in the super affiliates who want to stop messing around and invest in something serious (which this is, their investment in the proprietary tracking & statistics software alone is very impressive)

What kind of opening would you suggest? I think the weak part is the text in red, and I believe the rest of the copy is quite strong (Please note that there is another column on the website that mentions other specific benefits and links through to relevant parts (i.e. a link to the benefits overview, product overview, and other stuff affiliates need to know to support their decision to start promoting this program) - this is just the opening).

Thanks for any input!


Your livelihood is dead-serious business
(Are you sure your current affiliate program feels the same?)

An affiliate program is more than a traffic destination. It’s bread on the table. If you can’t rely on the professionalism of your Program, your business is held back. Trust and stability is something all serious business thrives on. You. Us. The entire Industry.

That’s why we’ve never missed a payment, have redundant merchant accounts in place so you never lose a sale, and invest in a dedicated team of professionals, providing the best of medical, webmaster and customer support to you and your customers.

We are dedicated to customer retention, and you should be too, because we both make money on each and every reorder.

At (COMPANY NAME), a combination of class-act customer service and a strong after-sales process is always at work for you – even when you are not. Providing better service, making more repeat sales, and paying you more commissions per customer.

Try (COMPANY NAME). It’s as easy as plugging one of our product feeds directly in to your site. How do you prefer to receive your payments?

O Check O Wire

Please provide us with these details as well:

Name
Address
etc

Hi Erik,

What I'm wondering is:

1) What knowledge or experience of affiliate programs does the reader have before happening upon this page?

2) Are they already an affiliate in another program?

3) What if their knowledge of affiliate programs is low/weak and they haven't experienced the difficulties that you raise, but have other "issues" (or hot buttons) other than the strength of the systems etc.

The point is, at what stage of the "need recognition" process are they at? Have they already decided that they need a stronger program, or have they only recently decided to become an affiliate reseller? In the latter case, they may not yet have experienced the difficulties that the copy seeks to address.

Sorry if all that was obvious from what you said previously.

What about making more of a point of explaining exactly how and why their program is going to:
1) make it easier for me to sell their products (because they're a well known reputable company and people are desperate for these products)
2) make it easier for my products to be delivered (one of the big hassles of MLM is actually getting products delivered)
3) Make it easy for me to get re-orders
4) Reassure me that I'll get all my commissions on re-orders
5) Reassure me that I'll get my commissions, even if someone visits my site and then returns to the main URL at a later date, having stripped my affiliate link from it

and in a nutshell, all I have to do is drive traffic to my clone-site, and then go back to sleep under a tree in the garden with a nice glass of lemonade. When I wake up later, I'll have loads of orders from people who will re-buy from me next month, and the month after that, not to mention all the sub-affiliates that signed up who will be selling for me etc etc etc.

That's just my take - hope it helps. ;=)

Hi Jane,

Thanks a lot for your comments, they're helpful and detailed as always.

Basically, the type of people we're trying to attract here are super affiliates, veterans in this business who recognize the weaknesses of the existing programs and who seek something more stable, reliable, professional and technologically capable. The customer support is also a big benefit here because some programs leave that up to the affiliate. The customer support of this program is quite extensive and makes it very easy for customers to stay in touch and re-order, so customer retention is a big benefit.

All re-orders are paid for in commissions - it may be good to mention that customers are hard-coded to their account so they always receive the appropriate commission.

My main concern for this piece of copy is the opening which simply doesn't strike a nerve. It doesn't stop a member of the target audience dead in his or her tracks.

I've been thinking about doing something like:


Are you an RX Webmaster and feel you’re more serious
about your business than your current affiliate program? If so,

Take your RX Profits to a Professional Lebel through Strong After-Sales & Reorders, Better Conversions and Superior Support.

Also, I've dedicated a seperate sales process for webmasters who are new to this business and want to start making money of it. You were very on-point with your remark about different levels of need-for-cognition - my page has already successfully answered this though, the only part that's left for me and still has me struggling is the opening for the main audience.

Anyway, thanks a lot for your help!

Regards
Erik