I have my new website up and I would be more than grateful for any advice on the copy within. I just started studying copywriting, so don't beat me up too bad!

have at it...

A Pane in the Glass

Paul

p.s. I am swapping the "event" page for a "faqs" page this week. I am also blackening the green writing in the banner.

Well your site looks clean, but you use the word "we" 5 times in 158 words. The copy is all about you. It needs to be all about your customer.

Paul, your website looks professional, but you need to turn it into a selling website.

For example, turn your welcome page into a sales letter with a compelling headline, along with your picture.

The words "Welcome To Quality" are cordial, but not compelling.

You should smack potential prospects right between the eyes with your USP, right off the bat.

What makes you different from your competitiors?

Why should they do business with you?

Also, it's not enough to say, "Minnesota's Premier Window Cleaners."

If you make a statement like that, you'd better damn well be able to prove it.

Prove yourself. Sell yourself!

Dale King

I am editing as you speak gentleman. It is amazing how hard it is to write copy for something that you are emotionally attached to.

You are both right.

I never noticed that...they are real, so what should I do? edit the beginnings?

"Minnesota's Premier Window Cleaners" is a little self-referential and without context. It's probably the most trite thing you can use as a headline, and I think a lot of templates have the headline cornered.

"and exceed those expectations whenever possible." Yeah, that's not a unique selling proposition -- I don't think it's even a firm position. 64% percent of accidents is almost good, but too much of an over reach.

Method "People against dirty" is branding, but gets close to the personality driven, story based copywriting I advocate. Also, the focus is on people, authentic voice, the human touch.

Also check out The Car Wash Guys site, nice combination of pictures and text, and the full Claude Hopkins style story.

Otherwise ...aside from the me-me-me ....and "me-too" ....and the non headline ....and there's really not any focus on the employees ....or humans, really ...or a call to action to convert vistors to potential leads.

Nice testimonials though. Good guarantee.

and what else would they start with?

I personally don't have a problem with the wording of the testimonials.

However, they look bogus to me as well.

You should always use first and last names for your testimonials. It just makes them look more authentic.

Dale King

Go to copywriters for critique and you will get it...and get it good. However hard the critique, I shall keep learning.