Hi folks,

I just finished a sales letter that's going live tomorrow. I've got three headlines. Would you be kind enough to look 'em over and tell me which one strikes your fancy? And hey ... suggestions are always welcome.

Thanks!
Roger

Depends on the salesletter, the audience and the "hook." Can you give us an example? Personally, and at first glance, the first one is the one I like. More visceral and impacting.

Hi Roger,

I like the "hook" of the first one, I think it would stop more people in their tracks and get them to read the copy.

But the third headline stresses the finality of the situation. One shot and you're out. I think that's important for the target market who is looking to win, at that moment, at all costs.

If I had to fall of the fence and choose one, I'd go with the first. Better hook, so I think more people read on.

Just my 2 cents

Shawn

Okay, here's a link to the whole sales letter ...

http://www.meandmymouse.com/SmallClaimsSalesLetter.pdf

There are 18 pages, but there's a huge gap in the copy at the end of page 16. I created this piece in MS Word and page 17 contains a text box I haven't figured out how to split between two pages. I really don't like MS Word.

Roger

Awesome swipe Roger...

Don't mind if I do!

I'll definitely choose number one as well... goes extremely well with your "hard-hitting" emotional sales letter... I love it!

Congrats on a good idea Roger.

A number of years ago you'd always see this guy's ad in Investor's Business Daily:

http://i3.tinypic.com/46y4ark.jpg

I had a potential lawsuit hanging in front of me back than and bought the book. The info in the book helped me avert the lawsuit and savd me quite a bit of money.

When I had a brick and mortar biz I had to take a few customers to small claims. Winning the cases was never a problem, but collecting the judgements was a big problem. It took some time back then to learn the "tricks" on how to get your money. So, if your book addresses that part in detail, you've probably have a winner.

Thanks Mr. Subtle, but it’s not my idea. I’m just the copywriter. I posted the piece here so Steven Davies could swipe it. He’s my best customer you know.

I’ll be sure to add your contribution to my swipe file. Much obliged Mr. Subtle.

Roger