Hi Guys,

I'm new to this forum but would appreciate a few opinions on sales copy at this site...

If you would like to actually recieve recipes... go here...

Greatly appreciated...

Thanks,

William Lockhart

The links appear to be the same. Do you want opinions on your squeeze page, or is there a sales letter.

Wow, interesting market?

I see you're bidding .10 on overture, how many searches are there for "pizza recipes?"

A.

Hi and welcome.

I think that one of those link dosn't work, they take both to the same place.

so, here is my modest vision, please believe in my respect and my sympathy.

1)the design :

1-1)the black background , many an other color be suited for this such a kitchen picture background.

1-2) the float (left) , the page isn't centred.

1-3) the entire color choice (black, white, and red).

1-4)the picture, make one with many ingredient, this suggest that this Pizza need just one ingredient.

2)the copy :

1) the word homemade Pizza, if they are to creat thier Pizza this mean that it is a Homemade one.

2) legendry Pizza, it is not about famous Pizza, Superstar pizza, it is about:

Delicious Pizza, Italien Pizza, Sicilien Pizza.

3) Guru's : perhaps the word Chief will give a better suggestion.

4) you arn't to deliver a real PIZZA, or some concrete product, it is an information that you will give, so why to use all this ...

5)
my friend, after making one after dinner, people are tiered and want just to relax.

so why not to turn it in the inverse like this:

you friends and family will be insistant to get your secret reciept, please feel free to share this web site with them, and invite them to get thier personal use reciept.

or something like this , you may formulate it better then me.

this is my modest vision hope that it help.

Andy, you dog! You don't miss a trick, do you?

Dale King

My suggestion is more copy and a USP. Without the copy the page looks like a way over-the-top bid to get email addresses. Why is it great? Who says so? Can anybody do it?

Read How to Find the "Selling Story" Buried In Your Business.

The design is really clunky -- those individual bordered boxes with the different colored backgrounds don't give it a professional look. The random color changes in the text need to go, too. And I agree with John above, you need to give them a reason why your recipes are so much better than everyone else's, if you want them to give you their information.

What are you planning to sell to the people who opt-in?

Hey Guys,

Thanks for the feedback...

The actual sales page link is Legendary Homemade Pizza Recipes In Your Inbox!

The landing page is converting at 4.89%

I do appreciate all comments, particulary the suggestion regarding the inclusion of the word "recipes" in the headline.

Dale, Google searches on the search term "pizza recipes" has been very good..

Again, thanks for everyone's feedback. Additional comments are always welcome...

Thanks,
Wm

Interesting market? Let's take a quick look:

http://i7.tinypic.com/27zi1df.jpg