Headline critique

**Headline critique -** 07-03-2004, 12:26 PM

Greetings, I'm an author who sells his book about helping teens through my website; www.AmericanYouth.net . Could use some idea's for a stronger headline. I'd appreciate it if anyone would take a look and make a suggestion or two.

Thanks much,

Eric_Graham · **Re: Headline critique -** 07-27-2004, 12:14 AM

Well... a quick observation is:

Your headline currently reads -
"Is Your Teen Is At Risk
From The Plague Of Teen Violence?"

You say, "Is your teen IS at risk".
I think you are intending to say "Is You Teen At Risk." Drop the second "is".

Another observation is - Your first part of your headline is Red and the second is black. This makes the 2nd half of your question look like a sub-headline.

You should make the entire headline red and put it in quote marks.

Eric

Alan Forrest Smith · **Re: Headline critique -** 07-27-2004, 11:41 AM

Hey,

Problem is your headline currently means nothing. You say...

Quote:

Is Your Teen Is At Risk
From The Plague Of Teen Violence?

The Risk Of Simple Assault on a Teenager is up 98% in 2004. Would You Like To Avoid Becoming One of Those Statistics?

See the difference? The second headline actaully makes a powerful statement and offers a solution to this problem.

Hope this helps you.